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To My Daughter?s Mother

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To My Daughter's Mother
by Skye Hardwick (c)2000 Do not use without Author's permission

Dearest Beth,
How do I even begin? For someone who can express herself freely, I find myself unable. I am overwhelmed with emotion. I am enraptured with admiration.You are truly an amazing woman. You stand so secure in who you are, and your role as Emily's Mother. You do not fear me, but embrace me. I am not a threat to you, I am your friend. You have invited me into your home, into your life, and into your heart.

I know my lips have been silent, but my heart speaks in it's own quiet ways. How can I speak when I cannot form the words of love I have for you?

You have waited for so long for a child. Many nights you prayed. God has answered your prayer; He has answered mine as well. All I wanted was for my child to have a chance. I wanted my baby to have all did not, so I gave her back to the one she belonged to, the Lord. He placed her in your arms, not I. I remember in the hospital, the day before I was to give you our Emily. You and I sat alone. You gave me a circle of love necklace with Emily's birth stone on it. I broke down. I asked you, "How will she know?". "How will she know how I feel at this moment, how my heart is breaking?". "How I love her, and always will?".

You sat on the bed and cried with me. Through your tears you said these words, "Because, I will tell her". It was then I knew. I was a mother by birth; you by adoption; both of us by love. Often I shove myself into the role society has given a woman such as I, a Birthmother. It is hard for me to accept that I am a stranger to my daughter, for there was a time when I was all she knew. I have comfort that I have your blessing to get to know her as you do when she is able to understand.When you see me on the sidelines watching from a distance, do not think I am emotionally numb. For what you cannot see are the prayers of thankfulness I am sending to the Author of this plan, God.

To be able to see her is like a gift - a gift I get to open and re-open each time I see her. What a treasured little girl she is - to have two mothers praying over her when she was yet unborn. Yes, I gave her life, but you gave her the life I could not. Beth, she may have my smile, but you are the reasoning behind it. For this, I thank you ... I carried her within my womb for nine months; now you carry her in your arms; together, we carry her in our hearts.

With Love,Your Daughter's Birthmother,
Skye

Skye Hardwick (c) 2000 Do not use without Author's permission.

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