Other PACER Services
Services at PACER: Post Adoption Center for Education and Research is an volunteer organization providing information, support, education for adoptees and birth family in the search process and in adoption reform and advocacy in Northern California. They also provide a newsletter and general information which is valuable for anyone interested in the adoption search or adoption advocacy process.-
Information Packet
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The Warm Line
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Search Workshops
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PACER's Bookstore
Information Packet
When you call our voice mail number and leave your name and address, volunteer Colleen Buckner will send you a search information packet and a copy of our current newsletter. The PACER voice mail number is 925/935-6622. (Please allow 7 - 10 days.)Email: pacer@pointerz.com
The "Warm Line"
Catherine Eliaser is the voice of PACER's "Warm Line." Each Monday evening from 7:30 until 9:30 pm, Cathy provides a variety of services which include support, information, and referrals. Her number is 415/892-9422.
Search Workshops
PACER offers search workshops twice a year. Independent Search Consultants give tips and training on how you can conduct your own search. The fee, payable to PACER, is $35 in advance, $50 at the door.
PACER's Bookstore
BOOK LIST: RELINQUISHMENT, ADOPTION, PARENTING, SEARCH, REUNION
NOTE: Many of these books are available from your local library. If you want to purchase any of them, we suggest patronizing your local independent bookseller. (Really!) If that is not possible, we invite you to order them from amazon.com via this PACER website, so we will get a referral fee. Thanks! Search: Books Popular Music Classical Music Video Enter keywords
below...
General Books on Adoption
Brodzinsky, David M., et al. BEING ADOPTED: The Lifelong Search for Self. Doubleday, 1992.Lifton, Betty Jean. LOST & FOUND: The Adoption Experience. Perennial Library, 1988 (first ed. 1979). Based on an adoptee's talks with other adoptees but includes conversations with birthparents and adoptive parents as well, making this a good all-around starter book.
Sorosky, Arthur, et al. THE ADOPTION TRIANGLE: Sealed or Open Records, How They Affect Adoptees, Birth Parents, and Adoptive Parents. Anchor Books, 1984. Based on 1000 interviews of adoptees, adoptive parents, birthparents.
Wadia-Ells, Susan, editor. THE ADOPTION READER: Birth Mothers, Adoptive Mothers & Adopted Daughters Tell Their Stories. Seal Press, 1995. Thirty women, including well-known writers and adoption activists, write eloquently about a wide range of adoption experiences, including international adoption.
Birthmothers' Stories
Franklin, Lynn, and Elizabeth Ferber. MAY THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN: An Intimate Journey Into the Heart of Adoption. Harmony Books, 1998. A no-nonsense book that weaves a poignant memoir of a woman who reunited with the child she gave up for adoption with many stories from others into an intelligent, well-informed and complete picture of the varied experience of adoption.Jones, Merry Bloch. BIRTHMOTHERS: Women Who Have Relinquished Babies for Adoption Tell Their Stories. Chicago Review Press, 1993. Seventy women share their experiences of giving birth and placing a child for adoption, raising subsequent children, searching and being found.
Schaefer, Carol. THE OTHER MOTHER: A Woman's Love for the Child She Gave Up for Adoption. Soho Press Inc., 1991. A Bay Area woman tells her experience of pregnancy in a Midwest home for ?unwed mothers,? relinquishing her son, her years of loss, her search and reunion.
Growing Up Adopted
Anderson, Robert, M.D. SECOND CHOICE: Growing Up Adopted. Badger-Hill, 1993. A black market adoptee who is also a psychiatrist tells his story, showing that the search process can be healing even when no birth relatives are found.Gravelle, Karen and Susan Fischer. WHERE ARE MY BIRTH PARENTS? A Guide for Teenage Adoptees. Walker, 1993. Discusses how and why adopted children may try to locate and get to know their birth parents and examines possible psychological benefits and problems associated with the process.
Lifton, Betty Jean. JOURNEY OF THE ADOPTED SELF: A Quest for Wholeness. Basic Books, 1994. Lifton addresses the myths surrounding adoption. This book delves into psychological effects of adoption, and is recommended for reading after reading one or more of the general books.
Verrier, Nancy. THE PRIMAL WOUND: Understanding the Adopted Child. Gateway Press, 1993. A widely read book for adult adoptees. Order from the author at 919 Village Center, Lafayette, CA 94549. $14.95 plus $3.00 S/H.
Books for Children
Brodzinsky, Anne. THE MULBERRY BIRD: Story of an Adoption. Perspectives Press, 1996. For younger children (beyond pre-school); tells the story of a mother bird who tries to care for her baby, then decides to place it for adoption, and explains her reasons in a non-threatening way.Curtis, Jamie Lee. TELL ME AGAIN ABOUT THE NIGHT I WAS BORN. 1996. Beautifully illustrated book in which the story of a young adopted girl's birth is a cherished family tale.
Katz, Karen. OVER THE MOON: An Adoption Tale. Henry Holt, 1997. In this story of international adoption, the baby has a history, which the adoptive parents preserve as they practice telling the baby its story, including the birth mother and foster parents.
Lifton, Betty Jean. Tell Me a Real Adoption Story. Illustrated by Claire A. Nivola. Knopf, 1993. A small boy listens to his adoptive mother's made-up stories about his adoption but insists on the real one, which she then tells. This story he likes, because it's his.
For Adoptive Parents
Melina, Lois R. RAISING ADOPTED CHILDREN: A Parent's Guide to Rearing Children in an Adoptive Family.Pavao, Joyce M. THE FAMILY OF ADOPTION. Beacon Press, 1998. Describes the devolopmental stages of the adopted child.
Van Gulden, Holly and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb. REAL PARENTS, REAL CHILDREN: Parenting the Adopted Child. Crossroad, New York 1995. A leading adoption authority gives practical advice for parents on how to talk with their children about adoption. Throughout, addresses the special challenges and concerns of interracial, international and older-child adoptions.
How to Search
The best thing to do first is contact a search or support group. For an idea of the process, look online (see below) or in your library at recently published books, but don't invest till you know what you need.BLUE BOOK. Birth Parent Connection, Box 230643, Encinitas, CA 92023-0643 ($17.00). Lists search and support groups throughout the country. Updated yearly.
Grimm, Shea. SHEA'S SEARCH SERIES. A guide to self-empowered search written by an adoptee rights activist. Available here.
Independent Search Consultants. SEARCH BOOK. 1995. National listing of search consultants. Available from the American Adoption Congress, 1000 Connecticut Ave., N.W., Suite # 9, Washington, DC 20036
Strauss, Jean A. S. BIRTHRIGHT: The Guide to Search and Reunion for Adoptees, Birthparents, and Adoptive Parents. Penguin Press, 1994. Part one tells how to search; part two deals with the effects of reunion on all members of the adoption triad.
Reunions: What Might Happen?
Gediman, Judith & Brown, Linda P. BIRTH BOND: Reunions Between Birthparents & Adoptees, What Happens After. New Horizons Press, 1989. The authors interviewed thirty birthmothers in lasting reunions, along with adoptees, other members of the birthfamily, adoptive parents, to discover the impact of reunion on all involved.McColm, Michelle. ADOPTION REUNIONS: A Book for Adoptees, Birth Parents and Adoptive Families. Second Story Press, 1993. An adoptee who has worked with other adoptees and birthparents explores the roots of reunion, the reunion, and how to support the reunion process.
Waldron, Jan. GIVING AWAY SIMONE: A Memoir. Times Books, 1995. The author reunited with her daughter when the girl was eleven years old. Waldron powerfully describes the struggle of birthmother and child to build a relationship.
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