About our Adoption Decisions

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About our Adoption Decisions
About our Adoption DecisionsOur Emily

A World of Options~

There are many ways to go about the whole adoption process. There are agencies and attorneys,open, private, and closed adoptions. We chose to have a private adoption attorney, and have him arrange an open private adoption. Open private adoptions have many benefits that I wanted. The adopting family agrees to tell the child about the adoption, and to periodically send photo's and letters to the birth parents that give them updates on the child's life. The Birth parents can send photo's, letters, and gifts to the adoptive family ( we send them to their lawyer who forwards them for us) The child also is told some things about their birth family, and may contact them at the adopting parents consent. The adoptive family may also contact the birth family for other reasons, such as medical needs, geneological inquiries, and even just to share news .
Using a lawyer instead of an agency gave us much more control over things, as agencies, ( even private ones) require things to be done according to their policies.
Lawyers are more expensive for the adopting parents, but I would still recommend using one if it is at all possible.
The birth mother is shown scrapbook-like information packets that prospective adopting families put together for this purpose. They include photo's of the family, their home, and hobbies, as well as letters to the birth mother about who they are and what kind of life they can offer a child. I chose my child's parents from one of those packets.
Some adopting parents and birth parents meet in person, and build friendships, Ours were on the other side of the country, but we spoke on the phone and emailed each other until meeting at the hospital after delivery.
The legal papers that the birth parents sign are the final step in the process as far as birth parents are concerned. Once those papers are signed, the adoptive parents have all parental rights. There is a hearing in court that signifies the completion of the adoption process for the adopting family, but the birth parents are done once they sign away parental rights.
Alot of thought and planning went into every aspect of the Adoption for us. It is very important that birth parents arrange for everything that they can before the papers are signed, because afterwards you might not have the opportunity.
I strongly suggest to anyone that is considering adoption that they educate themselves as much as possible before making any decisions. Whatever side of the coin you are coming from, knowing your rights and options can save you a lifetime of heartache and pain. Get advise from as many sources as possible, don't just accept the first things you hear. Most of all, follow whatever your heart tells you is the best for the child.

A poem about Adoption ~

Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone
But still miraculously my own
Never forget for a single minute
You didn't grow under my heart
But in it

Author Unknown

Here are some of the sites that I used to research adoption online ~ Keep in mind that it's good to look at this issue from every point of view to get the best understanding of what your options and rights are! Each link has tons of related links, investigate as much as you can !
http://www.laboroflove.com
http://www.adoptionhelp.org/
http://members.tripod.com/Marimar_1/ouradoption.html
http://geocities.com/aprilmomtlol/index.html
http://birthmother.adoption.com/
http://www.adopt-usa.org/resources/public.php3?func=detail&par=6714
http://www.babyzone.com/adoption/default.asp
http://www.adopting.com/info.html
http://www.calib.com/naic/pubs/f_impact.htm
http://www.calib.com/naic/
http://www.bmom.net/
http://search.about.com/fullsearch.htm?terms=labor+and+delivery&PM=59_0100_S
http://www.adopting.com/info.html
http://www.childofmydreams.com/adoption/coping/wounds.html
http://www.adoptiontriad.org/
http://www.adoption.org/agencies/html/i4praca.htm