Adopting.org Discussion Forums

One of our readers makes a good argument for single parent adoption, citing national statistics and family trends.

Continue reading Single Parent Adoptions: Why Not?

I have often wondered how prevalent single parent adoption is in this country. To me it seems like a very natural thing -- the make-up of this country is such that there are possibly more single parents than not (or at least more "non-traditional" families than not), and in my opinion an adoptive single parent would provide a home with more stability than many other types of single parent homes that have been somehow "broken," either by divorce, death, illness or the many other things that can compromise the nuclear family structure and as the author of this article mentions would produce a great deal of emotional, financial or other stresses that might limit the amount of attention they could spend on nurturing and loving a child.

I also really like the idea that women (and men!) hoping to adopt children as single parents are doing so because they feel they had a wonderful childhood and want to give that to another child. I think so much love can't possibly be wrong, and I would imagine there would be many different ways to provide positive male (or female) role models in the child's life to give him/her the experience of a well-rounded, emotionally full and loving life.

The latest published research I could find on this (from the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse) was published in 1994... and indicated that an estimated 20% of adoptions of children with special needs from foster care were by single parents, and single parents made up 5% of adopting parents in all other types of adoption. I would expect, given the trends, that those numbers have increased substantially over the past 11 years since that research was published.

I think that this is a wonderful idea. There are many single people who have not found that special someone to share their life with but want to have a child. Single parents can raise a secure and happy child just as well as a married couple. There are so many needy children in the world that need love and security. Why can't single parents give that to them? I think that the deficits that a child may experience because of being raised in a single parent family is far less than the deficits that may occur if not being adopted at all.

Of course, there are many wonderful single parents. But we shouldn't pretend that being a single adoptive parent is always the same as being a single first parent. If you are single through divorce, then there is another person on the planet who is responsible for the well-being of your child. (Whether that person fulfills their financial or emotional responsibility is - I realize - another question.) In the ideal situations, and I've seen a few, single parents still have a co-parent, which helps with all the overwhelming needs a child can have. If you're looking to adopt as a single, there is no one else responsible, and that's a heavy load, unless you enlist a very dedicated circle of support. So I'm not saying people shouldn't do it, only that it shouldn't be spoken of as if millions of people are already doing it. You have to plan differently, but it can be done.