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Author reflects on some adoption terminology.

Continue reading The Language of Gifts

This is a fantastic article, and really cleared up some of the misperceptions I had about WHY the word "gift" might be so offensive to some birth parents, adoptive parents and adoptees. I think it's easy to forget that in the adoption equation, as really in any other equation where a child and a family are involved, the child is the most important part. I think what seems most important to think about when it comes to adoption is that there is no such thing as absolutes -- the words "right" and "wrong" have no place in discussions about adoption. As she mentions in the Rosie O'Donnell reference, to say that because a child was born originally to a different mother than the adoptive one that raises him/her doesn't mean the child was misplaced.

While I do agree there are some times when people might get a little touchy about the way they react to people's experiences and perceptions and language about adoption, I think it is really important to remember to be sensitive to the child's feelings and think most about what will be important for the adoptee to understand and feel as he/she grows up and comes to understand his/her being and life.

Yes, I've read this sentiment elsewhere on these boards. So hard for us as human beings to quit treating each other as objects that can be possessed. Hopefully, we're growing out of that a little at a time. We'll complete that cycle of growth if we can withstand the "slings and arrows" of being called "politcally correct" every time we speak these truths!