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What you need to know about Post-Adoption Contact Agreements.

Continue reading Post-Adoption Contact Agreements - Why Make One?

A sentence that struck me in this article was the following:

"The actual process of writing the agreement can help all parties come to appreciate each others' strengths, dispel fears about each party's role in the child's life, and reassure all parties that the adoption will be a solid, lifetime commitment."

I would imagine the process of drafting this contract would not only be important for the adoptive parents, but also and most notably for the first parents. I think so often (and it has been discussed before in these forums) we think of an adoption contract as being a way to protect the adoption for the adoptive parents. We hear horror stories about first parents that change their minds months after the process of placement and the bitter custody battles that ensue, but rarely do we hear after the fact about the struggle of the birth parents to feel assured that their child is going to be cared for well and lovingly. When I read the above statement about "dispelling fears," I think about the very justified fears of the birth parents that their child won't be loved, will be taken for granted or not appropriately cared for, and the myriad of other things that could go wrong for a child being placed for adoption. But it seems to me that involving everyone in the drafting of the contract (and not just hiring a lawyer to try to represent all sides of the issue without the emotional component), with the supervision of a professional of course, could help start the healing process for everyone, and make a great start to the child's life.

I think that it is always best to know what to expect and what is expected of you. This is especially important in an adoption. Knowing what the birth parents expect from you is central to you being a good parent to your child. Setting guidelines for both of you is a way to protect your feelings and a great foundation to build a relationship with your child that will last forever. Openness and honesty in creating this agreement will help everyone in the long run.