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International adoption can be full of surprises. Age, marital status, previous marriages, and even your weight can play a role in whether or not you receive approval. Check out some lesser known restrictions.

Continue reading Want to Adopt? Watch Your Weight!

While I can see, at least in terms of health fitness, the reasoning behind being trepidatious about an overweight individual adopting a child, I certainly think the weight issue should be a bit less "cut and dried" than it appears to be. Because all body types are different, and there is typically about a 30-40 pound weight range for some heights, depending on body type, that still can be called "healthy," it seems to me that it's pretty hard to dictate a specific weight and simply state that anything above is considered risky. For example, I am 5'10, female and 170 pounds, which would be considered overweight by many general standards, but I am an athlete that trains for and completed marathons and triathlons, and I am healthier than most people that weigh less than me but engage in less physical exercise. It seems to me that a more appropriate system would be a physical that actually gauges how healthy someone is, with blood-work and very thorough and rigorous medical testing. And there are many discrepancies even among medical professionals about what is "overweight," because there is agreement that it depends on the individual -- certain people have different muscle masses, bone densities and other factors that make them naturally weigh more, and so the standard height and weight chart that was used 20 years ago is unrealistic. Plus, there are certainly those that are overweight but exercise regularly and are active and healthy, and of course, those that would make wonderful parents. I guess the lesson is that we can't change other cultures and their specific values and ideals, nor in my opinion, should we try to. But I think there should certainly be an attempt on the part of these other cultures and countries to understand differences that might exist in adoptive parents from other countries, and a general desire to place children in happy homes that will give them the love and support they need.

I think there is some good reason for looking at weight issues, but not for the physical health reasons commonly touted. The issue is addiction, not size. This attempt of agencies - to screen out illness by looking at weight - fails, because you can't tell from weight if someone will die from an eating-disorder-related illness. Nor can you tell if they should be parents. Many normal and underweight women (and men!) create digestive illnesses for themselves by purging, and in the meantime they make insane mothers. Many overweight women yo-yo between starving and binging, and that makes for negative parenting, too. We want to see adoption as noble when we take a child away from a crack addict mom, but to turn around and place that child with a food/diet addict is not much of an improvement where emotional health is concerned. As a society, it would be more useful to become educated about eating disorders, rather than trying to hide our ignorance behind size charts.

We also should remember that many arrive at adoption after fertility treatments and that some of those treatments have a terrific impact on weight.

Right, (about fertility tx affecting weight). That's just one example of how you can judge someone's health, physical or emotional, by their size.

Admiral, I think you mean "can't" judge.

Lord, yes, thanks for catching that!

I meant that someone can have a healthy relationship to food and their body a her life (though she'd be a strong and rare woman in this country, lol!) and then, as a result of dealing with infertility treatments, become a person who is judged as overweight by others. Or even by just a size chart! Such a person definitely should not be ruled out of parenthood because of her size.

I think that it is sad that others look at heavy people and automatically assume that their health is bad, they cannot control their eating, etc. There are many different medical conditions that can cause you to gain weight and that make it near impossible to take it off. This does not mean that they will not make great parents who will love a child. It just means that they are overweight. There are people that are considered "obese" by their doctor, but who eat right and exercise and are in excellent health. Weight it just part of the equation.

I feel the same way, my husband is a very large man. When people look at him, he feels that all they see is a fat man who is lazy and is fat because he eats too much. When we go to a restuarant, other patrons stare, not at him, but his plate of food. So Russell will pick up his plate and ask the person staring;"Want some?" It's funny to watch them turn red. They don't see someone who tries very hard to control his weight as much as he can, a man who has hypothyriodism, and a man who went ten years or more with untreated sleep apnea(which is now controled with a CPAP m achine)that put his metabolism at a screeching halt and no matter what, his metabolism will never fully catch up. Russell is a RN and walks constantly while at work and is in no way, shape, or form lazy.
We are wanting to adopt from China, but with his weight, I don't know if we will be able too.

I Dont Understand The Weight Thing, Because My Two Girl There Adoptive Mother And Father Both Are Like 3oo Plus Pounds