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Adoption planning often seeks to match children closely with their adoptive families, but some families seek and value differences. Look at how this family includes diversity as a part of its normal life.

Continue reading Not Just Like Me

We are all unique, and I really like the way Ms. Longman appreciates this in all her children.

It is necessary that in adopting or fostering a child, we learn to look past their physical differences or 'abnormalities'. Some of these children may never get to meet their biological family, and you may be all the family they will ever know. They need to feel loved and appreciated, despite the labels put upon them by the rest of the world.

I love this article. I think she eloquently points out the many diverse elements that make up a family - in her case, some are related to adoption and foster care, while others can apply to almost any family, however it's formed. Thanks for highlighting this article!

This article needs to be read by anyone and everyone regarding adoption.

Each child comes with their own history which is a part of them, whether good or bad. We need to be the ones to help them move on,loving them no matter what, validating them as a unique person, helping them adjust to their new life and creating NEW history.

It strikes me often that we spend so much time thinking and worrying about giving children a home that will teach them the "right" values, teach them about where they come from culturally, racially, etc., that sometimes we ignore the benefits of placing children in the most loving home possible, regardless of if the race or cultural background of the family fits the child's. I see how giving a child the opportunity to have a stable and comfortable environment and one that teaches him a concept of "self" is the right thing to do, and that there are people that believe the only way to do this is to place a child in a home that fits their racial or cultural "profile." I think this article does an absolutely beautiful job of presenting the benefits of embracing diversity, and proves that love and development of a true sense of family and community is truly the foundation for raising a child -- everything else is secondary. This statement is what struck me most:

"I want my children to know a variety of types of adults and to see that I respect and value the lives of those people. Community for us means many overlapping circles of people. There are places where they will belong and I will only ever be a guest, but I hope to have found them a guide for the journey where I am unfamiliar. "

The whole world is "overlapping circles of people," and I would argue that the reason we often, as human beings, don't get along with one another is because we do not embrace this fact. The diversity of the world is not going to disappear, nor would the world be as exciting and interesting if it did! All we can do as parents is embrace it, acknowledge it, and be open-minded guides for our children as they discover what the world means to them for themselves. Everyone will be a "guest" at some point in life's journey, because we all have different backgrounds, personalities, strengths and weaknesses. The best thing we can do is represent the complexity of the world to our children in the best way possible and present them with the opportunity to know not only who they are, but who everyone else is too.

Wow! This article goes to show how small our world is. This woman has opened her home to children that are each different culturally, physically, and developmentally. She embraces that fact rather than lamenting how bad that she has it. I commend her for that. It is important for any children, whether adopted, birth, foster, or whatever, to be exposed to a wide variety of people. Everyone is different and for the world to be more accepting of these differences we must expose ourselves and our family to them. Loving and embracing difference is what makes a family strong and loving.

Hello all of you wonderful, educated, BRAVE mommies!

After reading, what seems like hundreds of threads, I feel like you gals could be most resourceful. I will try to keep this short...notice I said, "try". (smile)

My partner's nephew has been ward of the state of CA since 8/2008. Prior to foster care, he bounced from place to place with his birth parents while they fostered their drug habits. He will be 2 this December. My partner's brother, the baby's father, is a complete a total loser. He has seven children, all in the system. For the last year, him and the baby's mother have been homeless, using drugs, and running from the law...and she's pregnant with his number EIGHT! I think they still have parental rights but because they have not made any attempt at contact, let alone reunification, those rights are quickly slipping away. On 9-30-09, there is a court date to determine any progress that the two of them have made in regard to "parenting" this child.

The child's maternal grandma has kept us abreast on this entire nightmare and when she informed us that the child would soon be up for adoption, we jumped at the chance. We are only 2 weeks into the process but I am very much a planner/organizer and I need to know what to expect so I can properly plan emotionally, physically, mentally, financially, domestically, etc.

So far...we have talked to the child's case worker 3 times. She comes off very flat and we both feel rushed off of the phone which makes us nervous because we want her to like us. She originally stated that she wanted him placed with us before the court date but today when I talked to her, she had no time frame on anything. Our paperwork should (fingers crossed!) arrive tomorrow and we will complete it and fax it back to her immediately. I am aware that home and psychological assessments, as well as criminal history checks need to be completed but how long should we expect that to take? Is there anything we can do to expedite the process? What else can we do, in general?

I worry about finances because my partner and I are both in education and coming off of the summer vacation, our funds are LOW. Considering that this will be (I think) a kinship adoption, is there any type of financial support available to us? I asked the case worker today if we would be responsible for the cost of the assessments, background checks, etc. and she said no. Since we will be adopting the child out of the state, will they cover all costs? Will we be eligible for the one time reimbursement from the state? I am assuming that we will be responsible for travel and lodging right?

I am still trying to locate a support group that is lesbian-friendly and in the meantime...I have NO ONE to turn to for counsel, advice, venting, etc.

This is where you are come in....I hope you have room for one new (hopeful) mommy!

Thank you in advance, for everything.