Adoptees' Support Forum

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Adoptee/Birth Parent/Search Support Forum

Welcome to our new, improved, free search forum which has been designed through the generous donation of Doug and Paula Dillhoff. Both are working diligently at this task and we thank them!!! You can send changes to them (and kudos also!) at

For general questions, asking for support. For general support questions or answers to posts, please complete and send form here. If you are responding to a post, please identify the post by title.

General Search Information

Reminder from Gregoire IMPORTANT F.Y.I. birth dates: Adoptees should be aware that birth dates have been known to be changed by a few days eitherway. This was to prevent birth mothers from reaching the children. Keep this in mind when conducting your search, and when interviewing people.

Here is the information I have:

There is also a Usenet group where you can post at alt.adoption.

Also see Adoptees Mailing List:

It would be helpful to find a support group near you of people who are searching also. They can give you help about how to go about it too. You can find this information from American Adoption Congress or National Adoption Information Clearinghouse at

For Information regarding where to be located and if someone is looking for you, Please register with the 'International Soundex Reunion Registry' in Carson NV.. This is their full address as sent to me;

I.S.R.R. P O Box 2312 Carson NV 89702

For further information you may call them at area code 702_882_7755.

They are really worth the time and effort to register.

Also check with AAC (American Adoption Congress). The AAC is a non-profit organization which is trying to reform adoption laws, & supports open records for adult adoptees seeking their original birth names. They have a quarterly newsletter which has educational articles on adoption issues (birth parents & adoptee). The address is AAC, 1000 Connecticut Ave., N.W., Suite #9, Washington, DC 20036; phone (202) 483-3399

Chat Rooms:

# Just thought that you'd like to know about this great chat room on wbs. The location is: / you need to join - which is free and easy and then go into home & living and then health wellbeing and support menu - then chose adult adoptees - there seems to be someone there all the time!!!
# There is a great IRC chatroom on DALnet. The channel name is #adoption. I use a program called mIRC since I have found it the easiest to use. There are alot of helpful people there! For more information email me or visit my web site... Please join us! All members of the triad are welcome!
# America OnLine has wonderful Chat Rooms for all triad members

Good Advice from reader

I was adopted when I was 5 years old. Before that I had been in several foster homes. I did not associate with any of the people I couuld remember from that time. I grew up in a good home, with good people. But, as we all know, that sense of really belonging was not there. I found out that trying to find anything out from the state of New York was worthless. But I did know my birth name, and where I was born. Last September a thought crossed my mind. The state cannot seal birth notices in newspapers. I contacted the paper in my birth city and requested a copy of the birth announcements for my birthday. Well, the paper didn't have the old issues from that date, but they said that the library did. The library found the announcements and mailed me a copy. In the announcement was my fathers name, and more importantly, my mothers maiden name. It was an unusual name, so I pulled up a list of phone numbers with that name in my birth city. Two calls later I was speaking to my uncle, who said that they had been looking for me for years. I have mentioned the birth notice approach to others I know. One person found her birth mother within a few weeks. It works if you know your family name and where you were born. Even if you don't have your family name, as long as you know where and when, it may start the ball rolling.

Information about getting birth certificates, death certificates,etc, listed state by state, is at

Please see the following FAQs for adoptees, birthparents and searching

Birth Family Searching includes state by state resources and more

Especially for Adoptees includes resources and personal stories

Especially for Birth Family includes resources and personal stories

How to Start a Search

Internet Resources for Searching and see

Information on the International Soundex Reunion Registry & Jeff Hartung's page.

Also see Kevin's site for hiring a professional searcher, and USA search groups.

The Adoption Information Bureau

Assisting adoptee and birth parent searches. We specialize in petitioning the courts to open sealed records.

Al Cook and Associates

We are an investigatory agency specializing in locating biological children and children, as well as old friends, military buddies, dead-beat parents, etc. We have access to a number of not-for-public-use databases and have helped many families find lost members. Recently Readers Digest did a story on one of our locates, and 20/20 did a segment on another successful find last June. We do not charge outrageous fees; we are aware there are many unscrupulous people out there who prey on those looking for family. Our maximum fee is $125, and we would consider a discount for those who are referred by your group. My personal e-mail address is

Hale Investigative Services

Private Investigator Background checks for individuals (pre-adoptive parents, birth parent, adoptee) anywhere in the United States and some foreign countries. We do a county to county search for $20.00 per person with a 48 hour turn around. Email to:

PBN Reunion Bureau

Search easily through listings of 100's of Adoptees and Birthparents in search of their loved ones.

Help for your search Nationally and Internationally.

Seekers of the Lost

Largest internet Adoption/Missing Persons Registry-Nearly 50,000 registered-- plus other search services. You've seen Seekers of the Lost reunions on most major talk shows. call 1-800-808-7335

WorldWide Tracers

Established in 1980, we have solved more adoption cases than any other source.

Note: Check out any service carefully if you do decide to hire someone to help you search.

New Book

Swimming Across the Hudson

by Joshua Henkin

Two adopted brothers, one straight and one gay, and what happens when one of them is tracked down by his birth mother and learns a shocking secret about his past.

Appeared in New York Times Book Review Sunday April 27, 1997

Copyright ? 1995,96,97 CIS. All Rights Reserved.

Visitor Comments (2)
Adding your comments contributes to the adoption community. Please keep all comments on topic and civil. Visitors are invited to comment and vote for or flag comments based on appropriateness and helpfulness. All comments must adhere to our commenting rules and are subject to moderation.
lia - 2 years ago
0 0 0
there is never any support groups for adoptee there is nothing your just leftalone with no support from anybody I fel lke iam the only adoptee that's suffers with being adopted all the non adoptes hate me I wish I had never been adopted jusy so I would be accepted by somebody anybody everybody hates me I am so tired of people saying will I dont know whats wrong with you I know lots of people that are adopted and love it I get so tired of heraring that it just out to make me feel bad about myself that's mean to unsiult me like that out to make me the only adoptee who suffers being adopted peole love to make me feel alone with nbody I am so tired of being treate dlike that by people #1
lia - 2 years ago
0 0 0
nobody ever listens to the adopte or cares if the adoptee struggles with being adopted #2
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