Meet Courtney

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My second birth as a birthmother took place over the course of the last year. You could call that a very long labor, as my son is ten years old. I surrendered into what I believed was an open adoption, yet in my naivety and numbness I failed to research the aspects of my own situation. I had done everything I thought possible to "recover" from the loss I suffered only to realize that it had everything to do with me and nothing to do with what I did.

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I founded a non-profit center for crisis pregnancies at age twenty-two. I began speaking in schools and groups andbecame an adoption advocate for a well known Minneapolis Radio Station. My story was read in newspapers all across Iowa and I filled my time avoiding the pain by reaching out toothers. Ibecame a single mother at age seventeen, was married by age nineteen, and had two more children by the year 1998.

Only in this last year have I truly began the "real" road to recovery. Having a family so surrounded by adoption has helped as well. My sister is a birthmother andI recently became a big sister again to an adopted brother. My truth is that I only know what I have begun to experience and what I set out to learn. Myrelinquishment isn't just about me, it has effected and continues to effect everyone involved.

What do I do here at adopting. org? I do my very best to be myself. I have found that those who helped me the most in my own recovery and understanding were those who were able to open up and share, very intimately, their own hearts. In my writing I hope for readers to feel a sense of familiarity, a knowing that they are not alone. We teach one another and you will find that most of my articles reflect a current lesson I have been taught. As I moderate the boardsmy first commitment is to ensuring that everyone is heard, supported, and encouraged. In the last nine years of my recovery I had no one who had the ability to be honest with me. There were no places for me to find healthy answers to my all confusing questions. I needed a sense of validation. I wanted to believe in myself again. That is what this site has done for me, andevery day that I spend here my goal is tooffer the same thing to others who are searching just as I was.

Courtney's Book:
A Birthmother's Emotional Truth about Healing, Recovery and Success.

Courtney Frey authored this book hoping to help others find their voice while embracing the promise of success in healing and recovery. This book is a written journey of one birth mother's navigation through betrayal, abuse, loss, and discovery. "One Birthmother's Truth" is a validation and emotional guide for birthmothers who, just like the author, ache for that something more in their lives and are ready to embrace the purpose set out for them. "One Birthmother's Truth" is written in complete truth, and the journey is shared whole heartedly. The author, Courtney Frey, shares her very spiritual path with readers by including scripture that has sustained her and intimate moments with God which have catapulted her ability to keep going on. Her fight with faith, the questions she agonized over, and finally the evidence that nothing is done in vain. Courtney also shares how she was able to overcome a haunting and painful past, how that past altered her ability to begin healing from relinquishment, and how she ultimately discovered purpose in it. Also included in "One Birthmother's Truth" is a special extra addition, "Straight Talk: Helping Adoptive Mothers Understand. " This short feature offers adoptive mothers a series of useful techniques, ideas, and intimate peeks into the heart of a birthmother as she grows into a relationship with you and towards her own journey of healing. If you're wondering what to say, how to re-act, or simply want to know what she might be feeling, "Straight Talk" is an eye-opening tool in a safe format.