Thread: Biolgical Father vs. Step Father
08-31-2011 11:19 AM #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
Biolgical Father vs. Step Father
My ex-wife remarried 9 years ago. She is active Military and was living in Germany. She threatened to stay overseas unless I agreed to let her new husband adopt them. I was also paying child support on 3 other children and finding it difficult to keep up with it all. So I agreed to let her husband adopt them. I have not seen my children since the ages of 2 and 8 months. They are now 13 and 11.
I figured since her new husband would be raising them ( in another country) adoption was in their best interest.
Now, my ex-wife contacted me telling me she is divorcing the man who adopted my kids because he was verbally abusive towards them and her. She has allowed me to talk to them on the phone. They now live in California and I live in Kansas. The kids do not want anything to do with their adoptive father and I heard (while on the phone with my ex-wife)one of them screaming they didn't want to go anywhere with their adoptive father.
I know there is probably nothing I can do at this point to help them. I just wish I could reverse the adoption.
If anyone knows if I can reverse the adoption please let me know. I never stopping loving my children. And after hearing how they have been treated and spoken to I regret the adoption and wish everyday I could change it.
09-06-2011 06:40 AM #2
You are correct in that you cannot overturn or reverse an adoption. That's just not how it works legally.
The only way to make things legal is for him to terminate and you to adopt. (provided that's what everyone wanted, he'd sign off and a judge agreed to this) Then you would be responsible for them legally and financially again, which is part of why you terminated your parental rights in the first place so make sure you are in a position to fully commit. They've obviously been through a lot.
Since they don't know you and you are basically a stranger to them, maybe you could look at things slowly and just work on re-establishing a relationship with them for now.
10-25-2011 08:12 AM #3
Just checking in to see how things are going...any updates?
11-04-2011 09:11 PM #4
I'm very sad about this. Just want to give some advice to you that please love your children and a true parent even it is hard to give support it will try its best to provide it to them because that is your duty to them. Making them happy and make them feel secured. You can't reverse the adoption but you can still be there for them. That step father doesn't know how to love children and that is your time to prove to your children that you are still there.. Good luck for you..