Kinda long, but I am looking for advise from anyone that may have any input.
Without getting into all the details, I am looking into adopting my Brothers son. My Brother has always been in trouble, and is currently in the State Penn in Nebraska (I live in Texas). His Girlfriend got all her kids taken from her due to neglect (drug addict) and other things. Currently my Mom has temporary custody of my nephew. He is 3 years old, but has a lot of anger issues and does not like to have anyone tell him what to do. His mother allowed him to do what he wanted whenever, so that is what he wants. Social Services is going to remove him from my Mom, because of her heath issues and they are concerned that in a few years, she will not be able to control him.
Social Services will not consider any of her family for custody or adoption, and in my family, I have 2 sisters that like to party more than take care of their kids, another sister who has done everything for her family, but she is currently battling Lung Cancer and Me. I do have a stable home, good job, and I do not think I will have a single problem with the home study. I have been speaking with the Case Worker for the last 2 days and I will be making a trip up North for the 4th of July. I have a meeting scheduled with her for the 6th. My only concern is with his Anger issues, temper tantrums, etc... He is currently seeing a therapist, and that will not be a problem here, but to financial remain how we currently are, my wife will need to continue working. We have no other family here, so I am concerned about Day Care and his anger. He does seem to do well around a stable adult Male, but from my experience, not many Day Care Centers have Men working in them.
It is real hard trying to make a decicion without the emotional side of it, because I am effectively his last chance to remain with family. If anyone has been in a similar situation, please let me know what you have done.
My situation is similar...only I have the child in my house already and she is under a year old. But I think that if you can make a difference and give your nephew a chance at a great life than its very worth it! For us the good out weighed ALL of the bad. We have been on this emotional rollercoaster for 4 months now and there have been times that I cried myself to sleep...but when I wake up know that gorgeous lil girl is safe in the room next to me...I know everything is ok.
I don't know if your still in the decision making process or checking this board but I'd like to second what staycismama said.
I have been in your situation and am currently in the process of adopting my nephews. They have been with me for a long time(years now). At first there were a lot of issues and then with a lot of love and stability with regular routines things have mellowed. Yes, we still have issues and they go to therapy. I to classes to learn how to deal with their issues. But as time goes by things seem to get better.
Before they came I worried about them constantly. Now I have peace of mind. They're safe, fed, clothed, nutured and have their needs met. I hope you and your wife can or have come to the decision to take your nephew and give him the chance he deserves. Please update on the situation since it's been awhile since you posted your dilemma.