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The Ohio Putative Father Registry - The What?

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On Tuesday, at work, I had the form notarized. I slid the four forms into one large envelope and cast a final glance at the address. I was about to lick the envelope when...

I had put the wrong address on the envelope! Or had I? I looked again at the address I had written. It was the return address printed on the form and in the attached instructions. East State Street. But I had obtained the form from 255 East Main. So the forms must be mailed there. The address on the form, like the jurat date, hadn't been updated. Yet if the correct address was not the address on the form, ODHS would have updated the form. So maybe the form was supposed to go to a central office on State Street? Well, it probably didn't matter. If I sent the form to the wrong address, that office would forward the form to the correct address. Right? In a timely fashion? What if the guard sorted the mail? I decided I wouldn't take the risk.

I then recalled that Ms. F_____ had stuck a loose page in the folder. Looking in the folder, I found a flyer:
"We've moved!!!! Please address your mail to: Ohio Putative Father Registry 255 E. Main St, 3rd Floor Columbus, Ohio 43215-5222."
Thank god I hadn't lost or discarded the flyer. But I was still cautious. Why would the Putative Father Registry Office design a whole new flyer, make multiple copies of it, then leave it unattached to the form - instead of just updating the original form? Or instructions? There had to be a reason. I called the Registry to ask. A woman other than my beloved Ms. F_______ answered.
"Ohio Putative Father Registry."

"Yes, I'm about to mail in the father's form to you, could you please confirm the address?"

"It's 255 East Main. We've moved. The forms haven't been updated."

"Okay, thank you."
That was settled. At home that night I made out a new envelope and mailed it. It had taken me longer than expected to get the forms filled out and mailed. But I went to bed feeling good that I had grasped my opportunities. I needed do nothing more until my next sexual encounter. Then registering would be easier because I had a blank form and knew the address. I could do it all by mail. From here on out I would never need even converse with anyone from the Putative Father Registry Office.

She called me two days later.
"Law Office, this is Erik."

"Yes, Erik, this is Ms. F_____ from the Putative Father Registry Office."

"Yes, Ms. F_____, how are you?"

"I received your forms."

"Great!"

"But I'm a little confused."

"About what?"

"You listed yourself as the father on the forms."

"Yes?"

"You're supposed to put the father's name on the forms."

"I am the father."

"Are you saying you got all four of these women pregnant?"

"Well, no. I haven't confirmed any pregnancy."

"Then why are you signing the registry?"

"The statute requires me to."

"Okay," she simply said, and hung up.
She must not know about the statute, I concluded. Well, R.C. 3701.061 was an obscure statute. I searched my memory for other areas of law where a potential respondent had to ensure his own notice of a lawsuit that probably would not happen.

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© Erik L. Smith. All rights reserved.

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