The Joy of Waiting
It's a match! You've made an adoption plan with expectant parents or you've been matched with a child/children through foster care or international adoption. The wait may be a matter of months or a matter of weeks, but you're beginning to feel that your long journey is finally coming to an end. Congratulations!
Social Worker Bob Smith writes of what he calls the
"adoption time warp" where all time seems to be measured in relation to the arrival of a child. As you come to the end of this warp, it's important to stay focused. There's a lot to be done!
First Things First
Finish Your Paperwork International documents, applications for assistance and Medicaid, checking your family insurance coverage, social security number applications, and travel arrangements, if needed, should be top priorities.
Gather Your Support Team Don't hesitate to interview professionals! Both you and your child will need to feel comfortable and confident with all members of the team. Depending on your child's needs, you'll want to line up medical, emotional, educational, and peer support. These may include:
While general guidelines are helpful in understanding the role each member of your support team plays in your family life, your choices will necessarily be guided by your child's circumstances, your family insurance or subsidy plans, and local resources available.
Use this time also to seek out the resources you may need for first assessments of your child's health and abilities after your child comes home. If you're adopting or fostering a child with special needs, our Parenting Special Needs site has information and resources for testing, evaluation, and understanding the results. If you're adopting an infant, this is the time to make sure you understand the tests that will performed on the baby in the hospital and what they mean, and time for that brush-up on newborn care.
Language / Culture If you're adopting internationally or cross-culturally, you've probably gotten a head start exploring language and culture resources for both yourself and your child.
For internationally adopted older children, language acquisition will be something you want to prepare for, and learn about. For school-aged children, here are some great suggestions passed along by parents:
- Learn as much of your child's language as possible. Don't rely on the oft-said comment "...don't worry, your child will learn English so fast." The more you can communicate with them in their language, the easier their adjustment - and your life - will be during the first three months.
- Line up a babysitter/translator who can communicate with your child in his/her native language.
- Foreign language videos, like those available through Books Without Borders will give your child a respite from listening to English.
© Nancy S Ashe
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Comments
These are all wonderful ideas to help pass the time while you are waiting for an adoption placement. Keeping yourself busy will help the time pass much quicker and if you are doing something for your future child, then you will begin to feel that connection with them. Lifebooks are a great idea as you can write your feelings down in this book for your child to read later. Adopting is sometimes a long process and rather than sitting around waiting, doesn't it make more sense to do something constructive? There is nothing wrong with preparation. Visiting and setting up your support team is a great idea as you can learn more about the adoption process.
Posted by: conservation at 12/06/2005 06:35 PM
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