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The Joy of Waiting

It's a match! You've made an adoption plan with expectant parents or you've been matched with a child/children through foster care or international adoption. The wait may be a matter of months or a matter of weeks, but you're beginning to feel that your long journey is finally coming to an end. Congratulations!

Social Worker Bob Smith writes of what he calls the "adoption time warp" where all time seems to be measured in relation to the arrival of a child. As you come to the end of this warp, it's important to stay focused. There's a lot to be done!

First Things First

Finish Your Paperwork

International documents, applications for assistance and Medicaid, checking your family insurance coverage, social security number applications, and travel arrangements, if needed, should be top priorities.

Best Resources
• Adoption Travel
• Download Forms Needed for Adoption
• Health Insurance for Adopted Children

Gather Your Support Team

Don't hesitate to interview professionals! Both you and your child will need to feel comfortable and confident with all members of the team. Depending on your child's needs, you'll want to line up medical, emotional, educational, and peer support. These may include:

• Mental Health Counselor
• Parenting Support Group
• Pediatrician

While general guidelines are helpful in understanding the role each member of your support team plays in your family life, your choices will necessarily be guided by your child's circumstances, your family insurance or subsidy plans, and local resources available.

Use this time also to seek out the resources you may need for first assessments of your child's health and abilities after your child comes home. If you're adopting or fostering a child with special needs, our Parenting Special Needs site has information and resources for testing, evaluation, and understanding the results. If you're adopting an infant, this is the time to make sure you understand the tests that will performed on the baby in the hospital and what they mean, and time for that brush-up on newborn care.

Best Resources
• Medical Evaluations

Language / Culture

If you're adopting internationally or cross-culturally, you've probably gotten a head start exploring language and culture resources for both yourself and your child.

For internationally adopted older children, language acquisition will be something you want to prepare for, and learn about. For school-aged children, here are some great suggestions passed along by parents:

• Learn as much of your child's language as possible. Don't rely on the oft-said comment "...don't worry, your child will learn English so fast." The more you can communicate with them in their language, the easier their adjustment - and your life - will be during the first three months.
• Line up a babysitter/translator who can communicate with your child in his/her native language.
• Foreign language videos, like those available through Books Without Borders will give your child a respite from listening to English.

Best Resources
• Cross-Cultural Parenting
• Heritage Resources
• Language Acquisition and Adoption
• Transracial Parenting

© Nancy S Ashe

Adoption Profiles

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