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The way we talk about adoption has evolved over time as we become more aware of the complexities of our relationships and the way children and adults react to words, nuances, and connotations. Resources for present and future parents, families, teachers.
Adoption educator Brenda Romanchik suggests ways to resolve some of the language differences that exist in adoption.... [more]
Adoption language is a sensitive topic, and Sandra Falconer Pace of the Canadian Council of Natural Mothers explores two separate movements - both targeted toward respect: 'positive' or 'friendly' language and 'honest' language.... [more]
If you've got a question about a word or term, here are definitions of terms commonly used in connection with adoption and foster care, for quick reference.... [more]
Web sites addressing the evolution of and revolution in adoption language. Articles, glossaries, guidelines. ... [more]
Adoption-specific abbreviations, acronyms and terms.... [more]
Are you PC? Do you care? Decide for yourself if new language surrounding adoption helps or hurts our ability to communicate.... [more]
How do people in and outside our families view adoption? We can often be surprised at how little or how much they know, and how they express themselves. Here are resources for all of us - to learn about different attitudes, and find ways of dealing with the insensitive or uninformed.... [more]
Professional counselors and parents offer suggestions and recommendations for talking to children (and others) about adoption, sex, and infertility. When to tell a child, how to tell a child, and advice on handling awkward or uninformed questions from well-meaning adults.... [more]
School-aged children can be exposed to hurtful comments from their classmates, or feel uncomfortable with certain types of class assignments or language used in the classroom. Here are resources to help parents and educators work together for the children's benefit.... [more]
Author reflects on adoption terminology and how subtle differences in the way adults use words reflect on the children.... [more]
"Your Child's World: Adoption at School"
Comments
When I was growing up and in school, discussions about adoption and classmates that were adopted were certainly not a part of my experience. If anything, I remember finding out certain kids were adopted from my parents or teachers, and then being asked to keep it a secret, typically because the children themselves didn't know the circumstances of their own lives. This always surprised me, and also gave me the idea at a young age that adoption was something to be ashamed of, and that it was something that was discussed in private, and not with the adopted child until age 18, when they were adults and finally allowed to know.
The sad thing is, I didn't understand what the big deal was about talking about it openly, even as a child, and I remember asking my parents and sometimes my more trusted teachers for more information about it. I don't remember what my parents told me, but I do remember them expressing extreme admiration for parents that adopted or made the adoption decision for their biological children, and I know that made it even more confusing for me as a child to understand why communication was so hush-hush. I even felt anger on behalf of my friends that were adopted and didn't know it, and had an urge to tell them (even though it was obviously not my place!) and dispel the idea that it was a bad thing. I think mostly I wanted to nurture them and help them begin to talk about it so everyone would understand.
Is it still the case that more parents and teachers than not are choosing to avoid the topic, or have things changed in the past 30 years? And, if they've changed, I wonder why they've changed? Is it merely the presence of more "famous" adopted people (and famous people adopting) in the media, etc., or is it a change that is being sparked by willingness to have more open discussions and to invoke change in the world of adoption?
Posted by: backslash at 11/10/2005 08:45 AM
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