Synchronicity - Coincidences in Adoption
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Search & Reunion Resources The dominos start to fallsynchronicity, n.Coincidence of events that seem to be meaningfully related.
(Source: The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language)Adoption-related coincidences abound. Many get their start in the gene pool - birth family members and adoptees beginning a search at the same time, sharing occupations, interests, talents. Others may get their start when families begin the adoption process, as in the
story of the Hunts and Heatons, who became best friends and adopted best friends. Some
coincidences along the road to infant adoption can leave us shaking our heads. And still others, like this one, bring to mind the music from
The Twilight Zone.
I guess the best place to begin would be in 1999, in a small town in rural Illinois. It all began long before, but in the interest of time and space, we'll begin in 1999.
Alicia Bergen was a nurse with the county Health Department. She didn't generally have direct client contact - she was a supervisor who set schedules, attended budget meetings, and developed care plans. This day, however, one of her case workers was going to be late, so Alicia filled in for her and took her first case of the day.
Sue Magnus was getting her children ready to go down to the Health Department to get their pre-school vaccinations. She wasn't feeling well and asked her husband, Joe, if he would take the kids. He needed to hurry, she told him - theirs was the first appointment of the day, and since he'd never taken them before, he'd need some extra time to find the place.
Alicia Bergen - meet Joe Magnus. (Don't go jumping to conclusions. It isn't that simple.)
Going over the Magnus children's records, Alicia noticed some blanks in their family history and asked Joe if he would fill them in for her. For whatever reason, Joe, who very rarely talked about anything to anyone, spilled over with the story of having been adopted, adding that he wanted to find his birth family. He told her that his parents had tried to help him search years before, with the help of a paid searcher, but with no success. Lately, he had been having strong feelings that his siblings (without knowing for sure that he had any) needed him.
Alicia was surprised. She hadn't known about the adoption, but - in this small area - she did know Joe's adoptive parents and knew how loving and secure the family was. Joe assured her that it had nothing to do with not feeling loved and supported - he did - but this was something much more primal, internal.
The kids got their shots and the certificates for school. Joe left, the case worker arrived, and Alicia went back to her regular duties, but she couldn't get Joe's story out of her head.
At home that night, Alicia told her husband, Harry, about Joe and what he had said.
Alicia and Harry had been married for several years. Each had been married before, and each had grown children. They also shared something else in common: each had a connection to adoption. Alicia's brother had been placed for adoption, and Harry had been adopted as an infant. They were both deeply affected by what Joe had said and, after talking about it, decided to do something about their own situations.
Alicia had information about her brother's adoption, and the agency's search coordinator was able to put them in touch with each other.
Alicia's search had taken almost no time... but Harry had no information at all and he decided to go on the Internet.
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