Surviving Your Child's Emotional Disorder
Part 3: Family and friends Hannah's and my life was changing in an effort to bring healing into her life, and through my letter, I desperately wanted friends and family to understand and support our efforts. I spent days writing and re-writing my letter. I explained RAD. I provided insights into its cause. I outlined the treatment Hannah needed in all aspects of her life. I shared a list of what I did NOT need from friends and family. I concluded with a list of what Hannah and I DID need. The format was questions and answers based on all the questions and comments (both supportive and irritating) I heard as I had searched for causes and explanations for Hannah's behaviors.
The letter was honest and heartfelt. It went to the core of what Hannah and I were dealing with. Many people read it, called, and offered help by way of the suggestions at the end of my letter. Some didn't respond for weeks or months. One got angry. One has never responded.
~~~Hannah's and my world is changing. In the 10 months since Hannah's diagnosis, I've sifted and sorted through friends and discovered who was a forever friend and strong enough to stand with Hannah and me in our time of need. I've made new friends as my search for help brought me to a local support group of families whose children have emotional and behavioral issues. I've become proud of my ability to implement tough parenting approaches to help Hannah heal. Most importantly, our world is changing because Hannah is healing. She's learned to "spend," as the therapist calls it, her emotions appropriately. She's given up (most of) her defiant behaviors. She's learning to let go of her need to control her world. She's learning what a true, loving connection with a mom feels like. Hannah is proud of her new behaviors and emotions. And I am, too.
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