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Surviving Your Child's Emotional Disorder

Part 2: Finding the right therapist

More of this Feature • Part 1: Challenges • Part 2: Finding a Therapist • Part 3: Family & Friends

Related Resources • 10 Tips from Susan Ward • Adopting from Russia • Attachment • Symptoms of RAD

Elsewhere on the Web • DSM-IV: Reactive Attachment Disorder • Older Child Adoption Online Magazine • Plight of Russia's Orphans

Finding a therapist brings multiple challenges when your child has an emotional disorder. Often, you find yourself in a position of being more knowledgeable about your child's disorder than the service providers you speak with. When discussing RAD, people might say to me, "Reactive attachment disorder is only a theory." Not! It's listed in the DSM-IV right along with ADD, Autism, Bipolar, etc.

As you search for a therapist, ask lots of questions. Get references. And if it isn't the right fit, find another therapist. Hannah and I finally hit it right with our third therapist. The first two provided some assistance, but neither of them were attachment therapists and were unable to provide the correct diagnosis and treatment.

Our current therapist is not only an attachment therapist, specifically trained to help families suffering with a child who has RAD, but she's extremely knowledgeable about similar and related diagnoses such as bipolar, ADHD, autism, and more. The therapist provides Hannah with effective tools to deal with her grief, fears, and behaviors, and helps me to implement therapeutic parenting approaches at home.

Trying to explain Hannah's diagnosis and treatment needs was especially difficult since few people ever saw her issues. The Hannah that my family saw at Christmas, and that friends saw when Hannah came to visit, was a compliant, polite, smart, funny, athletic, curious, well-mannered child. With me, however, she was violent, defiant, controlling, and manipulative.

Shortly after finding our super wonderful therapist and getting Hannah's diagnosis, I wrote a letter to my family and friends explaining the situation of our lives. Sharing your child's emotional disorder, however, has a discordant public and private perspective. On one hand, you as a parent are begging for support, guidance, and assistance. Yet, even knowing that your child's disorder is not of your own doing, it's embarrassing to share information about horrible and unusual behaviors.

Next page > Family and friends > Page 1, 2, 3

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