Suckerpunch - Part 2 - Humiliation
Part 2: Humiliation "I showed him my copy of the statute and requested my non-ID. I told him the date my adoption was final and the date I was adjudged a dependent of the court by the DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services).
"Behind me, I heard a woman say,
'Oh, my!' I could feel my face getting red.
"I told the judge that my birthmother had signed surrender papers so there would be information in the file.
"Behind me, the whispers continued.
'What's he doing?' 'He's trying to find his family.'"I was so embarrassed. I could feel all those eyes on me, and everyone could hear what was being said. I felt degraded. I felt like crying. There I was, a grown man, begging for small pieces of my life with a court room full of strangers looking on.
"The judge said he would mail me the information, I thanked him, and I left. I walked out. I kept my eyes focused straight ahead, not looking at anyone. I got out of that court room as fast as I could."
Trooper was starving - he hadn't stopped for breakfast on the way to the court, but his need to put distance between himself and the source of the humiliation he felt was greater than his hunger. He drove 50 miles toward home before stopping to eat.
The Court RepliesA few days later, a letter arrived from the judge.
"Your mother was an adult under no disabilities."That was it. No information about her family, her heritage, her education, nothing. Of course, Trooper wrote back to the judge requesting that he open the file and release more information. Some time later, having received no answer, Trooper called the Court Clerk who told him that the judge had opened his adoption file and there was no information there.
An adoption file with no information other than the fact that his mother was an adult (18 or older in Illinois) and had no disabilities at the time of his adoption. What happened to the records? Are they there and a decision was made not to release any information? Have they been removed? Destroyed?
[Illinois adoption records - which included "all petitions, decrees and other papers and records relating to the adoption proceeding" were
sealed to the public in 1945, however they were subject to being opened for inspection to persons named by the court. Therefore it is reasonable to assume that these types of records
were indeed kept and there is the presumption that at some time
someone might be granted access, if the court so ordered.]
Of course, this isn't the first time an adoptee has met a brick wall where there should be at least a small gateway, nor are adoptees the only ones who have been humiliated and badly treated by procedures supposedly in the "best interest" of children and families... as determined by... who does determine what's in our best interest anyway?
Adopted persons, birth parents,
and adoptive parents often find themselves on the outside looking in when trying to deal with a system that, so we're told, operates for their benefit and/or the benefit of their children.
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