» foster care » essentials for foster care » causes of stress

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Causes of Stress

• Financial status: loss of job, reduction of hours worked, reduction of benefits, your bills go up dramatically, problems with the house, you win the lottery, etc.
  
  
• Structure changes in the family: birth, death, marriage, someone moves in with you, child becomes an adult and "leaves the nest", child becomes an adult and does not "leave the nest", etc.
  
  
• Health: a family member has a serious health problem, emotional illness, always tired, sick often, etc.
  
  
• Relationships: marriage problems, parent-child conflicts, fights with extended family or neighbors, someone important to you moves away, problems on the job, you find a new love, etc.

• The characteristics of the children: neglected, abused, sexually abused, ADD, ADDHD, FAS, etc. It would be unusual to find one child in your "average ordinary family" that had any of these characteristics, but one foster family might have several children living with the results of these actions or conditions in the home at the same time.
  
  
• Number and type of children: the family has more children than their "approved capacity"; has different population groups (mixed ages - teenagers with small children; different gender, race, etc.); concerns about accepting a child that really isn't what you wanted ("If I don't take this child, will they ever call me again?"); accepting a child for placement to prove that you can handle anything; wanting to take care of all the children of the world, you are talked into doing something that you don't feel comfortable with but feel pressured to do, etc.
  
  The agency: (the agency causing stress? I know... this one's a shocker) the boarding care check is late... again, the medical card doesn't come, going through training, going through the homestudy process, nobody returns phone calls, no co-operation, little support, etc.
  
  Lack of support: many of your friends think you're nuts for wanting to do this, often there is no ongoing recognition for the job you do, social workers expect you to have all of the answers when it comes to parenting, you are treated as a second-class citizen by professionals, not allowed to join in the decision-making for the child, don't receive ongoing training, services, or information that would make "the job" easier etc.

© Emil Baldwin, Jr., LSW