Search Tips for Birth Parents, Page 2
Register with ISRR The
International Soundex Reunion Registry is the largest free mutual consent registry in the world. It's international in scope, and while contact information can be found online, the registry itself is
not online. "Mutual consent" means that a match must be made from registrations filed by
both parties who are searching. If you prefer that contact be initiated by your birth child, be assured that if you receive notice of a match, he/she has received one as well and can take the first step.
Note: As you gather more details about the adoption, be sure to update your information with ISRR. The more complete information, the better chance of making a match. Chances are, your birth child will be starting out with a lot less information than you have.
Update Your Information State Adoption Units, agencies, and even some attorneys will accept updated information from you to be placed in the adoption file. These can include:
- Waiver of Confidentiality: (Be sure to adjust the form letter to reflect your information.) This is a form whereby you agree that confidential information about you (your name, current location) can be released to your birth child or his/her parent(s) who may wish to contact you. Some states may have their own form that they will send you upon request.
- Updated Health Information: You are free at any time to write a letter to any agency involved in the adoption, giving your updated health information and asking that the letter be placed in the adoption file and released to your birth child or his/her parent(s) as requested.
- Personal Letter: You can write a personal letter to be given to your birth child or his/her parent(s), or an open letter indicating that you would welcome contact, including your current name, address, phone and email address.
Before doing any of the above, contact the agencies and attorney to get a current mailing address and the
name of the person to whom you should send the documents. They may also have other requirements you will need to know.
Who To Contact There are several places you can contact to request information, including:
- Agency, if one was used.
- Attorney, if one was used.
- County Court Clerk in the county where the adoption was finalized, and/or where relinquishment was filed.
- State Adoption Unit, through the Department of Social Services or its equivalent in the state where the adoption was finalized.
- Hospital where the birth took place.
Note: Check the resources listing at the end of the article for help in locating these information sources.
Initial Information Request Non-identifying information (non-ID) is information about the adoption without any names or other details that provide specific identifying information. For adoptees, non-ID does not disclose the names of birth parents or their family members, and for birth parents, non-ID will not reveal names of the adoptive parents, their family members, etc.
- Non-ID: If the state allows birth parents to obtain non-identifying information, contact them or an agency that is authorized to request it.
- Copies of All Papers You Signed: From the agency/state, or County Clerk where the adoption was finalized and/or where the relinquishment was filed.
- Original Birth Certificate: This is part of the original adoption file.
Don't be discouraged if you get turned down with general requests. You may be able to get answers to specific questions more easily.
© Nancy S Ashe
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Comments
testing my comment
Posted by: Leelu at 08/01/2008 10:04 AM
This article certainly will be a good starting point for the many that have decided to search for their children or children that have decided to search for their first parents.
It's interesting to me that, because of the nature of "birth" in general, it's harder for a father to search for his biological children than a mother. Because it is always obvious that a woman has given birth, the "proof" that she is the mother of a child is pretty indisputable. However, I'm aware that in some (and certainly not all!) cases, a mother that gives a child up for adoption either does not inform the father, or in some cases, does not know with absolute certainty who the father of her child is. Therefore, sometimes when years later, a woman decides to tell the person who is the father or she assumes to be the father, and he tries to search, he is unable to "prove" his relationship (without paternity testing). I'm certain that there are plenty of fathers searching for children out there that have run into obstacles because of the difficulty of proving years later that they are indeed the fathers of children. Even in cases where the mother is absolutely certain who the father is, you can't go back in time, and as this child grows up, enters adulthood, etc., it often becomes even harder to locate him/her. It's so rare to hear stories of fathers that have reunited with their biological children after years of separation, I'm sure because of the exclusion of their names or identities from birth records, etc., but I know there are those out there that have been successful. I'm sure there are similarly many men out there that would be searching if they knew, but they just never found out. To me, it's sad to think about that, because they didn't get a chance to form an opinion about a reunion or to make any sort of decision in the first place about the choice of adoption.
Posted by: bandstand at 10/13/2005 10:19 AM
Searching for birthfamily can be a scary experience. There are so many unknowns. But don't let the fear stop you if that's what you have decided to do.
Posted by: astrophysics at 10/05/2005 09:50 AM
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