Search Basics for Beginners

"Are you searching?"

This is the first question one adoptee or birth parent generally asks another in an online meeting, and if the answer is "no," it's often followed by, "but I'm thinking about it." There are literally hundreds of chat rooms, bulletin boards, and mail lists devoted to The Search, and although the majority of those searching are adoptees and birth mothers, there are growing numbers of birth fathers, siblings, other birth family members, and adoptive parents joining in as well.

Here at , questions about search come up in our chat rooms and on the forums every day, and the most frequently asked is:

"Where Do I Start?"

Those approaching search for the first time are often confused right from the outset by terms and abbreviations, such as "non-ID" and "OBC," so let's go back to the basics with some ideas for the beginning searcher.

With the exception of the first suggested step, "Know why you are searching," the others are not in any particular order - they are all important!

If you are an adult adoptee, and your adoption was finalized in Alabama, Alaska, Kansas, or Oregon, you can receive a copy of your Original Birth Certificate (and possibly other documents) upon request. These are "open records" states. (Look for state regulations here.)

Know why you are searching.

The decision to search is a serious one. People's lives will be affected forever, not in the least your own. Many adoptees never search. Many birth parents never search. It is an individual decision and someone else's reasons may not be yours. You should be prepared for all that searching will involve, and for where it might lead. (See: Making the Decision to Search.)

"Some Things To Think About," from the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, and Marcy Axness' "The Second Rejection" are two of the many helpful online reading resources available. There are also many books about self-discovery and preparation for search, and links to additional resources are included on the next page.

Read "The Definitive Guide to Self-Empowered Adoptee Search."

Don't be deceived by the title. Whether you are an adoptee or not, this is an excellent resource. This six-part series starts with making the decision to search and covers each step of the process, from talking to everyone who might have information to contribute, to writing down every hint and clue, to organizing what you collect, all the way through to petitioning the courts to open your adoption record. The series' author, Shea Grimm, is an adoptee who conducted her own successful search.

For Canadian searches, check out The Adoptee Searcher's Handbook which is available online in its entirety.

There are more great articles for beginners included in the resource listing at the end of the article.

Register with the ISRR.

The International Soundex Reunion Registry is the largest, free, mutual consent reunion registry in the world. It is not an online registry - remember, not everyone has Internet access or a computer - and it is almost always the first step recommended by reputable searchers (paid or volunteer), support groups, and reunion registry operators.

You may be tempted to post your information far and wide on every registry (including ours here at the site), guestbook, and listing you find, but wait. Send for your ISRR registration form first.

© Nancy S Ashe

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