Reunion: Hearts on the Line, Page 7
Forever Changed Over the course of a fortnight, my soul imploded. The young stranger tossed a firecracker into the room that was our peaceful life and then quickly ran away, calling out behind her (but not to me): "It's not my fault. I didn't know. I really didn't want to tell you." I felt bloodless, limp, and eviscerated. We had shared some of our most private secrets with this stranger.
***
No, not a firecracker, but rather an Oklahoma Bombing had taken place in the structure of our life together. Kerri flew out of our lives eleven days after she had parachuted in. We had openly welcomed her. The facade of our carefully constructed palace was blown away by Kathy's acts of emotional violence, exposing floor after floor of our existence, stripped naked for strangers to study. Every closet, every storage space, every commode was now in full view of the terrorist and her other victims. Ragged shards of our most private feelings -- Anticipation, Excitement, Joy, Fear, Isolation, Loneliness, Anger, -- and Love -- lay strewn from the wreckage. And, our bruised and bleeding hearts were carried out on stretchers into the cold Chicago winter. We are innocent victims of this bombing; David was simply, twenty-five years ago, in the wrong place at the wrong time, and became a convenient scapegoat for Kathy. His daughter was taken twice from him -- from us -- and the circumstances do not allow us to mourn our loss. There is no hastily erected chain-link fence surrounding the devastation where the sympathetic can leave flowers and notes of condolence.
Because of the experience, we reinforced our foundation and quickly rebuilt. We retreated into the comfort of our relationship once again. We have memories together; we have a history. We've picked up the bricks. But, we are changed, just as a renovation is never the same as the original. We now have Winter Hearts.
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Comments
What a sad story of a "reunion." I feel for Kerri that she will never know her father. I ache for this man who had for twenty five years carried around the guilt of giving a child up for adoption and then finding out that he had not fathered a child at all. What an emotional upheaval this must have caused for Kerri, her adoptive parents, and this couple who thought she was going to become part of their lives. This story should show readers that even though we think we have the story about our birth, that sometimes it may not be true and we should be careful in our search.
Posted by: culinary at 12/01/2005 03:59 PM
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