Response to Reader Editorial

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Response to Reader Editorial:
Self-Victimization by Birth Mothers

David

I would like to respond to the article on birthmothers written by Ms. Bogus.

For the last 5 yrs I've worked with adoptees looking for their birthparents and vice - versa, so I do understand your anger. Allow me to present a different take on this issue.

There are as many different scenarios in adoption as there are adoptees. When we cast a blanket over any one group we do ourselves a disservice. It's my belief that every child born is here for a reason, no matter how they came to be, and when we attack their mothers we inadvertently attack the child. Isn't it time women had more compassion for each others' plights instead of finger pointing and blame?

The majority of birth mothers I've spoken with take full responsibility for their lives. There are some who remain anonymous and have always kept 'the secret'. Do you think the way society views them may have something to do with their shame?

How is it that a beautiful baby is anything to be ashamed of? Is that baby somehow less because its parents were not married? I don't think so. We are blinded when we feel anger, the only way to help ourselves and others is through compassion and understanding.

I wish you the best.

Sincerely,
David

2001 (c) David

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