Response to Reader Editorial
Response to Reader Editorial:
Self-Victimization by Birth MothersKay Russell (taking responsibilty for my words)My complaint is adoptees who want revenge on all mothers because they hate NOT being kept by their own.
It really ticks me off to hear them go on and on about how blameworthy all moms are, espousing the same sexist attitudes (that insisted they lose their children in the first place) to pound down the same guilt they were force fed while they were pregnant -- and actually believing it's a brand new attitude.
These adoptees fuel their anger by refusing to even consider that her mother had few options, no support, no real information, and plenty of guilt dumped on them already, and are so intent on staying angry that they can't see that they are not taking responsibility for that anger. No, they are blaming it on, not just their own mom, but also ALL moms who lost their children to adoption and dare to speak up about a system that damaged them.
How do they justify holding their moms responsible for their own anger? By saying their moms don't take responsibility -- responsibility for the actions of everyone involved in condemning her just as vehemently as her lost child is now.
These adoptees say things like cultural mores are the same as family values and personal integrity. And in order to view themselves as NOT being wrong or foolish, they make excuses about their emotions being the fault of all mothers who aren't still silently suffering like they were for decades previously.
These adoptees could be acknowledging that NO ONE has control over their emotions but themselves, taking responsibility for those emotions, and dealing with them in ways that will help rather than hurt.
My complaint is adoptees who don't understand that the consequence of sex is NOT adoption and life-long pain. That's not even the consequence of teenage pregnancy. That IS the consequence of social mores that don't value families or personal integrity. Sexist social mores that these mother-hating adoptees are promoting in order to condemn, not just their own mother for leaving them, but ALL mothers who've lost children to adoption.
I can respect adoptees who present their personal anger as if it were a public value system. Nor adoptees who can't see that bravely speaking out about the past is intended only to change the future -- i.e. learning from mistakes. Oh no. There will be no learning from adoption mistakes because these adoptees are too angry about not being kept.
These adoptees have such an inadequate concept of history that they don't even understand that life was not the same when they were born as it is today. They think abortion has always been legal, birth control always available, low paying jobs for teens were always abundant, young women never got kicked out of school for being pregnant -- in short, that the freedoms and choices available to young people today have always existed.
Then they turn their anger outward towards ALL mothers who won't turn their anger inward -- towards those who dare be so vocal that they might affect change in order that more and more victims CANNOT be created by adoption, including more angry adoptees.
Victims don't speak out. Victims keep silent, blame themselves, and believe they deserved it. Victims do exactly what the adoptee who wrote this article wants ALL mothers who lost their children to adoption to do.
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