My Mother and My Mom

Related Resources •Adult Adoptees •Guest Contributors •Library of Articles •New & News at the Site

In my family, it is common knowledge that my sister and I are adopted. I never felt the need to hide this fact. Actually, I have always been proud of it. My Mom and Dad were always honest with us about our biological parents and never tried to hide the truth from us. My sister and I knew that if we ever wanted to know anything about our biological parents, we could always come to them with our questions.

When I was about 8 or 9 years old, one of the children in the neighborhood teased me and said that my "real parents" abandoned me and didn't want me. She made me feel like an outcast. I cried the whole way home and right into the arms of my Mom. She comforted me, she wiped my tears and she was honest with me. She sat me down on her bed and very calmly and lovingly told me about her sister Ellen, my Mother. She told me about Ellen's problem with alcohol abuse and by doing this she gave credence to the few memories that I did have of Ellen. It was during this conversation that I found out that Ellen had passed away. She told me that it was o.k. to cry and to feel sad. She told me that I would not be hurting her feelings by showing my love for my Mother. But, I did not see Ellen as my Mother. I saw her as my Mom's sister. I felt sorry for my Mom that her sister had died. I did not shed a tear for Ellen. I was not angry with Ellen. I felt nothing. I had all of this love for my Mom and I was just grateful to feel better and not be so sad. I was just a child who was surrounded by a supportive loving stable family. I did not have the maturity to feel sorry for myself or feel a sense of loss. I felt comforted, loved and above all, special and privileged. This is just one example of the countless times throughout my life that I have been overwhelmed with gratitude because I was chosen to become a member of my family. My sister and I were lucky to have been raised by my Mom and Dad.

As a mother, I always strive to be better, to do more for my children and constantly question my decisions on their behalf. I am growing with my children, and my husband and I are developing the roots of our own family tree. My family is my gift from God. It is my job to nurture and cherish that gift. The gift is not what is viewed by the physical packaging of my family. The gift is ever changing and the gift is reciprocal. I take care of God's children and I receive the honor of being called Mom. I have learned first-hand throughout my life that being a Mom and Dad is not about making a baby. A Mom and Dad are not created when a life comes into the world. A Mom and Dad are created throughout the lives of their children. Mom and Dad are titles that are earned and that deserve the utmost gratitude, respect and love.

Ellen was my Mother - Ellen was not my Mom. My Mom is the woman who rescued my sister and me from a very uncertain future. My Mom gave us our life. She loved us unconditionally and we became her children. We were chosen. We were special. We were adopted.

~ Donna Nordone Heaney
Email:

> Page 1, 2, 3

Adoption Profiles

Jeff & Nana We are an active, fun loving family of 3, waiting to welcome a 4th. We are excited to share a glimpse of our family values and lifestyle with you.... [more] other adoption profiles | add your profile A service of Adoption Profiles, LLC