Finding Services & Support

While pre-adoption education, training, support, and networking give those approaching adoption a good base of knowledge and theoretical experience, the sad fact is that many do not take advantage of opportunities, and others are not even presented with those options.

Even when comprehensive pre-adoption parent training and education are available and we sit through each and every class, how many of us hear only half of what the pre-adoptive instructors are saying... because we "just know that it will be different for us, after all, isn't love enough?" One of my friends puts it this way:

We are so bent on becoming parents that we are totally convinced we can handle anything that comes our way. Too often, we have our ideal child in our hearts and honestly cannot get past that when reality slaps us in the face. We hear the words - 'your child may hoard food' for example - and the pre-adoptive parent is hearing, 'oh, the child is hungry, maybe he/she will swipe a banana in the middle of the night.' The reality is that the child cleans out the kitchen in the middle of the night, hides old food all over his/her room, puts wrappers and pop cans down heating vents... and you end up with a trashed house, horrendous odors, and bugs!

Beyond that, sometimes even the best pre-adoption classes and support cannot prepare parents for extraordinary situations requiring extraordinary parenting skills. Thus, it's left to post-adoption service providers to rise to the challenge.

For placing parents, even at their best, pre-placement counseling and support rarely adequately prepare them and their families for the emotions to follow.

Don't Wait for a Crisis

Post-adoption service providers are not just for crisis intervention. They should be part of the planning for every adoption. Whatever the situation, post-adoption support should be in place so that you and your family aren't the ones who wind up with no place to turn in a crisis.

Types of Post-Adoption Support

State Social Services/Child & Family Services
Most states either provide access to their own or contracted counseling, consulting, and referral services for families and helplines for families in crisis. Contact your state adoption office for more information.
Private Agencies
If your adoption was handled by a private agency, take advantage of every post-adoption resource it can provide. Many agencies offer post-adoption counseling with members of their own staff, and they should certainly be in a position to provide referrals. Hopefully, the agency you selected does offer comprehensive post-adoption services.
Independent Support and Counseling Groups
When joining a support group, look for one with counselors or therapists as group organizers or members, or that offers a system of referrals to find the help you need.
Private Therapists
Although the number isn't overwhelming, adoption therapists can be found across the country. Ask members of your support group, private and public adoption agencies, or others for referrals.
Respite Care
Respite care programs provide parents of challenging children with short-term relief from what may be overwhelming stressful situations.
Specific Disorder/Illness Treatment
Children with specific disorders or illnesses may require specialized treatment.
Post-Adoption Classes
Take advantages of local area seminars on post-adoption issues and online education.
Magazines & Newsletters
Magazines and newsletters are an important part of the learning process for new families, and a major source of post-adoption support, heritage connections, and networking.

Post-adoption services are by no means available only for adoptive parents and families. There are services and groups for adult adoptees, birth parents, and other birth and adoptive family members as well - individually and as families or groups.

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