Post-Adoption Contact Agreements - Why Make One?
Part 2: Why Make One? Adoptive and birth families, adoption professionals, jurists, and policy makers are increasingly noting the positive effects of varying degrees of openness in adoption [see
Openness in Adoption]. Openness includes post-adoption contact between the adopted person and birth family members, and the availability of original birth records and updated birth family medical information to adopted persons and their families.
Post-adoption contact agreements serve as the written commitment to the children.
Benefits to Families Every situation is unique and each party will have individual goals for the agreement, but the primary benefit is that all parents are making a commitment to the child.
The actual process of writing the agreement can help all parties come to appreciate each others' strengths, dispel fears about each party's role in the child's life, and reassure all parties that the adoption will be a solid, lifetime commitment.
For parents of children in foster care who have been reluctant to move ahead with adoption because they fear losing contact, or who do not want to face involuntary termination of their parental rights, a mediated post-adoption contact agreement can ease their fears on both issues, and allow their participation in the placement.
While the agreement may or may not be legally recognized and/or enforceable [see
Legalities], the very existence of a written document, prepared with respect and centered on the child, can serve as a reminder of this commitment, and encourage families to work through problems that may arise. Children learn from their parents and this example of accountability and unconditional commitment to family is an important lesson.
Benefits to Adoption Professionals Agencies and attorneys offering mediation services for the preparation and maintenance of post-adoption contact agreements can benefit from greater client confidence - both placing and adopting parents, and see the results in more successful placements benefitting the child.
For public agencies seeking permanency for children in foster care, mediated agreements can help parents who
want permanency for their children but fear losing complete contact and/or their child's loss of contact with siblings and/or other birth family members. Resulting benefits can include shorter stays in foster care, and more successful placements for the children. Time in court proceedings is also shortened considerably with the change from involuntary termination to voluntary relinquishment.
Benefits to Adoption Practices As more adoption professionals offer mediation services for the preparation and maintenance of post-adoption contact agreements, more pre-adoption education for placing and adopting parents will be necessary - something that can only benefit
everyone involved, most critically the children.
See Glossary definition: Termination of Parental Rights Next page >
How To Make One > Page
1,
2,
3,
4 © Nancy S Ashe
Home
Comments
I think that it is always best to know what to expect and what is expected of you. This is especially important in an adoption. Knowing what the birth parents expect from you is central to you being a good parent to your child. Setting guidelines for both of you is a way to protect your feelings and a great foundation to build a relationship with your child that will last forever. Openness and honesty in creating this agreement will help everyone in the long run.
Posted by: jmrodg at 12/01/2005 05:46 PM
A sentence that struck me in this article was the following:
"The actual process of writing the agreement can help all parties come to appreciate each others' strengths, dispel fears about each party's role in the child's life, and reassure all parties that the adoption will be a solid, lifetime commitment."
I would imagine the process of drafting this contract would not only be important for the adoptive parents, but also and most notably for the first parents. I think so often (and it has been discussed before in these forums) we think of an adoption contract as being a way to protect the adoption for the adoptive parents. We hear horror stories about first parents that change their minds months after the process of placement and the bitter custody battles that ensue, but rarely do we hear after the fact about the struggle of the birth parents to feel assured that their child is going to be cared for well and lovingly. When I read the above statement about "dispelling fears," I think about the very justified fears of the birth parents that their child won't be loved, will be taken for granted or not appropriately cared for, and the myriad of other things that could go wrong for a child being placed for adoption. But it seems to me that involving everyone in the drafting of the contract (and not just hiring a lawyer to try to represent all sides of the issue without the emotional component), with the supervision of a professional of course, could help start the healing process for everyone, and make a great start to the child's life.
Posted by: astrophysics at 11/08/2005 04:37 PM
View all comments (2)
Add Your Comments!
We want to know what you think. Your comments are important to us and the other readers. You are what makes this site special.