Politically Correct Adoption Language, Page 2

Part 2: What's In? What's Out?

Adoptee
I never had a problem being referred to (or referring to myself) as an adoptee but some do, as I found when I read Dr. G. William Troxler's Purely American: Laws, Lies and Love,

The term 'adoptee' is a linguistic diminutive intended to keep adopted people servile. That is to say an adoptee is in a position of subservience just as an employee is to an employer or as a lessee is to a lessor. The message is be grateful and be quiet; you are a permanent captive of the adoption system.

Alternatives, from Dr. Troxler and others, include adopted person, person who was adopted, exlegitimate, and relinquishee. I'll have to think about that one.

Birthfather
It doesn't take much thought to know that substituting sperm donor for birthfather is going to offend (although some birthmothers may feel that the fathers of their birthchildren were just that), but words like first father, biological father, and putative father are seen as appropriate in various instances.

Birthmother
As has been defined by birthmothers themselves, the word birthmother is appropriate only after relinquishment. While a woman is pregnant, she's pregnant, or an expectant parent. After giving birth, but before relinquishment, she's a parent. And there are alternatives to the birth part as well, including first, natural, and life.

Let's look at several words which, experts tell us, we are not supposed to use any more:

• give away/up
• abandon
• relinquish
• put up for adoption
• adopt out

and words we are supposed to use:

• place in (not for) adoption
• make an adoption plan

However, what term applies to those whose parents (or others) made arrangements for them, to those who were coerced, or otherwise unwilling participants in the adoption? No plan or placement - which connotes willing participation - is or was involved.

Adopting from Abroad
International or intercountry (instead of foreign) adoption is another area where several different sources use different terms. The US government is comfortable with the term alien for those entering the US from other countries, however, alien adoption brings to mind visions of E.T. and strange beings with strange ways (which may not be too far off the mark, as my late parents could attest). [It's a joke, folks!]

Foster Care Isn't Exempt
The lastest suggestion for foster care is interim care, and instead of waiting children or children available for adoption, we're told that adoption available for children is PC.

Let's take a look at the various alternatives as we try to talk the talk.

© Nancy S Ashe

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