Older Single Parent Adoption From China
My name is Sharon Kaufman and I'm the Mom of a wonderful daughter from China. I adopted Rebecca Joy Chufang Kaufman when she was 18.5 months old and I was "only" 51.
Many older and/or single people have difficulty adopting healthy infants and toddlers, of any race, domestically.
One problem is that in many domestic agency-assisted and private adoptions, expectant parents - choose to place with younger adopting parents, even when the older ones might have as much love to give, a very stable home, more resources to be used for education, and so on. Thus, older families often adopt overseas, where the children are either abandoned or already legally relinquished, and where the governments are either neutral about or strongly in support of older families.
Some older and single parents also believe that they have a better chance of receiving a healthy child overseas. While all prospective parents need to be aware that there is the risk of an undiagnosed
medical problem in an adopted child, older and single parents often try to minimize the risk, worried that they may have more difficulty caring for a special needs child than younger and married parents. And they also know that, if they should die before their child reaches adulthood, there could be more difficulty finding a suitable guardian for a child with a disability.
But for some older and single parents, adopting domestically is not even a consideration. They may feel that the need is greater overseas; far more children there live in dire poverty, are orphans of war and famine, face discrimination as the children of single parents, or are victims of social policies and cultural traditions. Or they may experience a strong emotional response to a particular culture. In this regard, they are no different from their younger and married friends, who may go overseas for similar reasons.
Of course, anyone of any age should be careful about foreign adoption, just as about domestic adoption. Older and single people, as much as younger ones, should deal with a country that has a stable and ethical adoption system - but they also need to choose one that values older parents. They also should deal only with the most ethical, experienced, and service-oriented agencies, and limit their choices to agencies that are receptive to older and single parents.
I chose
China, which has one of the best-organized and most reliable adoption systems around, and which works only with licensed and accredited U.S. agencies, no lawyers or facilitators. It is so comfortable with older parents that, up until a few years ago, it
required people seeking to adopt a healthy infant to be at least 35 years old; today, however, prospective parents can be 30 years old or older. And it allows singles to adopt.
International adoption is often slightly faster than domestic, although a lot depends on the country of choice and factors such as a government's decision to change its policies and practices. There tends to be a little more paperwork, which is tedious, but that is about all. In my case, the paperwork was manageable, but the wait was longer than usual because of a reorganization that took place in China's adoption system a month after my paperwork was sent there.
My daughter, who has been home almost three years now, is healthy, intelligent, attractive, loving, and a total delight to parent. I am so pleased that I chose China adoption, and am telling my story here in the thought that it might help some other older, single person decide to pursue China adoption as well.
Read Sharon's personal adoption story © 2000 Sharon Kaufman
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