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Movie Review "Deep in my Heart" - Lury Dowda

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Reviewer : Lury Dowda
Birthmother


I thought the movie, "Deep In My Heart," poignantly reflected the heartbreak and errors in judgment precipitated by the secrets and lies of relinquishment / adoption which impacted all members of the triad. It also, in my opinion, spoke eloquently to the healing of reunion. Out of the myriad of images that filled the movie, there are three that stand out in my mind.
  1. The scene where social services decides to remove Barbara Ann from a loving, black foster home, where she had lived from birth to 7 1/2 years, and place her with a white family in Wisconsin.
    I see no indication that this action could be even loosely construed as in the "best interest of the child."

  2. The scene when Barbara Ann comments, "I am allowed to do that?" after being directed to contact the adoption agency in order to find out about her origins.
    This is very indicative of the reality that members of the triad are often not given information about what they can do regarding search and disclosure of medical information, or are given misleading or partial information, depending on the "whim" of the worker involved.

  3. The superimposition of the story against the backdrop of the racial tensions of the time shows that frequently the feelings of the birthmother toward her child are superceded by the constraints of society.
    In this case, it was racial. For others, like myself, it was a repressive and condemning society (church, family, neighbors, school officials, social services, etc.) that "forced" the relinquishment of an out-of-wedlock pregnancy.
I hope that viewers, outside the triad, could look at this and see that it could only be an "all or nothing" decision. No matter the level of continuing interest desired by the birthparents regarding the relinquished child, once papers were signed, we had no rights and were given no consideration. We were only offered two alternatives: Full, irrevocable relinquishment or public censure and alienation. Not much of a "choice" in my mind.

Lury Dowda
happily reunited with Jennifer after 33 years of separation



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