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Mom, I'm Going to be a Father

Shock and surprise

© 2001 'NANA' (Carol Evans)
Reprinted with permission
All rights reserved

When I look around my living room I notice that we have not *caught up* with what has happened in our lives in the last five months. This room is full of pictures of my children. And the most recently placed framed photographs are of my now 19 year old son at his graduation from Navy boot camp. He graduated on October 13, 2000. The pictures show him literally beaming; proud of his accomplishment, and eager to be a real sailor.

On December 10, 2000 he was told by his girlfriend, on the phone, that she was carrying their child, and she wasn't sure when the baby was due. On December 15, he arrived home for a Christmas leave. On December 16, with his older sister in tow for support, he came to tell me his news. After the usual homecoming hugs and then some small talk, he nervously said, "Mom, I have something I need to tell you." I realized this was serious, and stopped in my tracks and responded, "Okay..." He then said, "Mom, I'm going to be a father."

I was shocked of course; at the time my son was only 18 years old. While he had taken a huge step towards adult life by fulfilling a dream to be a sailor, and surviving boot camp, for all practical purposes I did not *see* him as father material...at least not *now*. But, when he uttered those words, I did not detect one bit of hesitancy in his willingness to accept this new role. Which was every bit as surprising to me as the news was shocking.

Not that he was ever a *bad* kid; he quite simply wasn't. But, he was a kid. He wasn't irresponsible, but I didn't have the impression that he wanted any more responsibility than was absolutely necessary. He was a typical almost 19 year old. But, he said he was going to be a father, and the *way* he said it didn't give hint to much in the way of a desire to be rid of this new role.

I won't spend too much time telling of what the next six weeks were like. They were horrible. My son's girlfriend said she wanted to place their child for adoption; he decided he didn't. Their respective families supported their decisions.

© 2001, Carol Evans

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