Mom, I'm Going to be a Father
Shock and surprise © 2001 'NANA' (Carol Evans)
When I look around my living room I notice that we have not *caught up* with what has happened in our lives in the last five months. This room is full of pictures of my children. And the most recently placed framed photographs are of my now 19 year old son at his graduation from Navy boot camp. He graduated on October 13, 2000. The pictures show him literally beaming; proud of his accomplishment, and eager to be a real sailor.
On December 10, 2000 he was told by his girlfriend, on the phone, that she was carrying their child, and she wasn't sure when the baby was due. On December 15, he arrived home for a Christmas leave. On December 16, with his older sister in tow for support, he came to tell me his news. After the usual homecoming hugs and then some small talk, he nervously said, "Mom, I have something I need to tell you." I realized this was serious, and stopped in my tracks and responded, "Okay..." He then said, "Mom, I'm going to be a father."
I was shocked of course; at the time my son was only 18 years old. While he had taken a huge step towards adult life by fulfilling a dream to be a sailor, and surviving boot camp, for all practical purposes I did not *see* him as father material...at least not *now*. But, when he uttered those words, I did not detect one bit of hesitancy in his willingness to accept this new role. Which was every bit as surprising to me as the news was shocking.
Not that he was ever a *bad* kid; he quite simply wasn't. But, he was a kid. He wasn't irresponsible, but I didn't have the impression that he wanted any more responsibility than was absolutely necessary. He was a typical almost 19 year old. But, he said he was going to be a father, and the *way* he said it didn't give hint to much in the way of a desire to be rid of this new role.
I won't spend too much time telling of what the next six weeks were like. They were horrible. My son's girlfriend said she wanted to place their child for adoption; he decided he didn't. Their respective families supported their decisions.
© 2001, Carol Evans
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Comments
This article made me weep with proud thoughts of a young man taking responsibility for his child. You don't hear many of these stories and this young man should be very proud of himself. You can feel the pride of this mother as she tells his story and realizes that she not only gained a grandson, but she also watched her son grow up right before her eyes. If only other young men would step up and take responsibility, then many problems that are in the world would be avoided. This shows great love and maturity to step up like that. Great article.
Posted by: jmrodg at 11/29/2005 02:57 PM
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