Getting Started with International Adoption

Chat Transcript

with Sigal Shapira
Director of International Adoptions at Spence-Chapin

Question: We are a married couple who have been married for almost 5 years. I saw on agency sites that they will not consider an age difference between the couples of more than "n" years. Typically 10-15 years. Why is that? (In our case, we have a 15.5 year difference.)
Sigal: We really don't have that restriction, however, each country sets its own rules. For many countries that includes an age difference - especially if the woman is older than the man. Each country also sets the length of time a couple must be married.

Question: If you assume the age difference is okay, then what group do we fall into when deciding if we will receive infant, toddler, or school-aged children from a country? (Or if we are allowed to adopt from a particular country at all.) For example, China: couples aged 30-45 for infants, 45-50 for toddlers, and 50+ for school-aged children. Is it an average of our ages (e.g. 39), the mother's age (e.g. 31), or the older parent's age (e.g. 47)? Or something else altogether?
Sigal: Again, it depends on the country. For some it's the age of the older parent, for others it's the difference between the two, or even the younger parent. With China, it depends on many factors. The general guidelines are 30-45 would receive an infant 45-50 would be referred a toddler. But depending on the children waiting in the particular orphanage from which the referral for the group are coming, may mean an infant. We have had couples who expected a referral of a school age child (they were 50-55) receive a referral of a 2 or 3 year old. In China, applications are accepted for a group, and the referrals are rotated to different regions and different orphanages.

Next: Adoption by Gays, Refusing a Referral

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