Foster Parenting: Celebrate the Vision
by Emil Baldwin, Jr., LSW Reprinted by permission
This week I saw a TV commercial for Sears Craftsman
tools that highlighted the work of a cabinet maker who appreciated the accuracy of their tools. As it turns out, this hobbyist had lost his sight several years before beginning the sideline. Although the story was inspirational, I really liked the statement he made at the end of the ad which went something like this: "Although my friends thought I was crazy... I like to say I lost my sight but not my vision"
Although I thought that this was really a neat quotation, it also reminded me that there are a lot of you out there who have heard the very same words from your family and friends. Particularly those of you who are foster parents. Over the years, many applicants have told me that some of the people they know have made jokes, criticized, and in some cases, disowned them because they wanted to bring foster children into their home. Despite those reactions, lack of support from official channels, late checks, insufficient financial reimbursement, and dealing with difficult behavior of some of the children, many have persevered. They continue onbecause they enjoy what they do, they love children, and they want to make a difference in their lives.
The service that these folks provide to their community is invaluable. Without them each town or county would have to leave abused children intheir homes or return to the days of the County Homes or orphanages. So, look around your community and seek ways to support the people who watchover those who can't defend themselves. Help them when you can... sign up if you are interested... and pass the word around your community that more are needed.
May is National Foster Family month! Celebrate those who haven't lost their vision!
"He is a visionary and it takes a visionary to stick with something that fails for so many years." -Stephen Spielberg
© 2002, Emil Baldwin, Jr., LSW
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In light of National Adoption month, I revisited this article and thought, while amazingly short, that whole idea of losing your sight but not your vision is so poignant and relevant to the experience of foster care. It seems to me that fostering is ALL about vision, and I even think that, in many ways, you have to go into it a little bit "blind" to make it work. If you go into fostering with preconceived notions of the experience, and "expect" it to be either difficult or easy (depending on your world view and what you've heard about it from others), I think it would make the experience much more difficult for everyone. Putting the limitations of "expectation" on children that have been through a difficult time will both inhibit them from excelling (because there are many foster children that have managed to become strong and optimistic individuals in spite of their challenging circumstances), or else doom them to being unable to live up to high expectations. I think the "vision" in foster care is all about the ability to adjust and be flexible to each specific child's needs, and to see their future both positively and flexibly. "Vision" is all about "expecting" the unknown and being prepared to be surprised in wonderful ways. Being a little bit "blind" can actually improve the experience!
Posted by: backslash at 11/09/2005 12:15 PM
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