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Finding My Birth Family - A Story of Adoption Search and Reunion

A story of adoption search and reunionby Brigid R.
© 2002, All rights reserved

[GUIDE NOTE: Brigid is the youngest in a family of eight adoptees from different backgrounds including Native American, Polynesian, and European descent. The family also includes a set of twins. She is the first to actually complete a search. Two of her older sisters are in contact with their birth families, but no search was involved. Her family has been very supportive, and her article includes comments from her (adoptive) mother. In the interest of family privacy, some names have been changed.]
 

More of this Feature PART ONE - SEARCH • Getting Started • Stepping Out on the Web • Finding a Woman Named Jones PART TWO - REUNION

Related Resources • Definitions of Terms • Index of Search Resources • Making the Decision to Search • Search Info for Adoptive Parents • Search Tools • Why Adoptees Search • Library

FOR YOUR LIBRARY "The Adoption Reunion Survival Guide" by Julie Jarrell Bailey and Lynn N. Giddens Read Review More Books

I began to seriously consider searching in the summer of 2001, after learning from my endocrinologist that my thyroid wasn't responsible for my weight, that I had a genetic predisposition for it. How could he possibly know that? I decided, at that moment, that I needed to prove him wrong.

Instead of actually starting to search at that time, I tried to lose weight on my own. It didn't happen. In fact, every time I saw him, about every six weeks, I learned that I was steadily gaining weight. I was sure it was the new medication I was on. Still, I couldn't get the idea out of my mind that I potentially had the "fat gene."

Finally, towards the end of the summer, when I had gained even still a few more pounds, I started looking at adoption related web sites. And then I started looking at adoption search websites. Finally, after the events of September 11th, and some crises in my home life, I knew I had to do it. What was I waiting for? I've wanted to know for a long time. What adopted kid doesn't? Well, I know a few, but that's another story.

Let me backtrack for a minute.

At one point, when I was about 25 and newly inducted into the "Watch a Live Birth" club, I began feeling an overwhelming sense of loss about my own birth and adoption. I was in a major funk for a while. In the midst of my funk, I began to understand how emotionally devastating it would be for a mother to place a child for adoption, and I was also beginning to recognize and understand the impact abandonment ultimately has on the child. I'll spare you the details of how I think it has affected me, but I can assure you it has, even in the most subtle ways.

The result of this funk-induced soul searching was a little more knowledge about the adoption process and the discovery of some resources for searching. For some reason, however, I wasn't compelled to begin a search.

Leap ahead 6 years to last fall...

PART ONE: SEARCH
Page 1: Getting Started
Page 2: Stepping Out on the Web
Page 3: Finding a Woman Named Jones

PART TWO: REUNION
Page 4: First Contact
Page 5: To Meet Him or Not?
Page 6: Mistur Andirsun
Page 7: Was It Worth It?

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