False Abuse Allegations - Adoption and Foster Care - by Rita Laws PhD - Why False Allegations Occur

My friend and I are living through this horror as I write. Her now 8 year old daughter was kidnapped by the father at the age of 1-1/2 yrs. She was his "girlfriend" until almost 2 years ago. It took us 4 years to get CPS to remove her from the home. My friend was villified by CPS the entire time. We were asked not to journal or take pictures. Visits were denied. She has a spotless record and a daughter that is now near 6 yrs. old. CPS finally removed the girl from her dad 6 weeks after finding that she had gennital herpes. Then she was made a dependant, which we thought best for the services she would have access to. What is a CASA again please? Non-existant.
Now my friend has lost both girls due to false accusations. She has only used time-outs and consequence methods of discipline. She is a church girl who does not drink, smoke, and hates any talk of drugs. She is completely distraught and could go to jail if she does not get a counsel that is familiar with the behavior of sexually abused children. Especially 4 years worth.
I am familiar with all of this through my niece, who is a fost-adopt and tried this on her folks periodically throughout her life. She is in her 20's now. Luckily my sister is a school teacher/principal/ administrator and has the background and education in child behavioral science needed. My friend does not have a GED.
The younger daughter is like my own. She has her own room and clothes and toys at my house. I have been in daily contact with her since birth. Literally. They are actually considering allowing her to come and live with me. I pray that someone in the system understands the importance of continuity in a childs life. Her sister however has taught her that I am not her real dad and that her real dad is in jail. Now she tells the foster family the story. She was taken because the older sister told her she would get a foster home if she accused mom of hitting her.
These kids were happy, healthy, and in school until last week. We have no money of this magnitude and are praying for an expert to question the girls according to truth rather than per the accusations, and to evaluate this situation before we are railroaded out of our lives by a prideful social services dept. or DA's office. The little one was going to be the cycle-breaker. Thanks CPS for the services withheld.

Posted by: bibosdad at 02/10/2009 02:15 PM

I'm sorry for the nightmare you have been going through! I would recommend that you join and post on the main website associated with this one for more responses as there is a much more active membership in the Older Child Adoption group and in the Special Needs Adoption forum. You will receive responses and support which really sounds like what you need.

[url]www.adoption.com[/url] takes you to the homepage and if you scroll down a bit, you'll see a link named "forums" on the left side.

Posted by: Crick at 01/12/2009 12:17 PM

We adopted a sibling group of 4 almost 8 years ago. Our 14 yr old daughter is claiming that my husband has molested her since she was 7. This came about after she once again was caught stealing. She stole a cell phone from a friend and used it to send sexually explicit messages and photos of her privates to 2 grown men that were friends of an older foster brother. We found this out at the police station. Up to that point, she was happy as can be. The next day she says Dad did this to me. Also claims that 2 other boys from former foster home abused her as well. Then my older daughter chimes in that she was raped in foster care. Now they are investigating everyone. 14 yr old sleeps in my room at night so they don't have to removed her from home. She no longer speaks to me either now and claims she will hurt herself if she has to live here anymore. Her counselor wants us to find her a place to stay (like I'd ever inflict her on someone elses family!) Our lives are a nightmare right now. My husband will never be able to be the kind of father to his other daughters now for fear of what they might say. We've loved these kids and cared for them. We are not freaks! Just people that felt led by God to do something good. We had already raised our own bio kids, took in 2 teenage boys that were homeless and they all are happy adults. I feel guilty when I haven't even done anything! This all happend over Thanksgiving and noone has even spoken to my husband or asked him anything! Not even the police. They called me again today and said they'd like to "finish this up" so when would be a good time to talk to my husband. Again I told them "anytime". They said ok, we'll call you back later. It's ridiculous! I loved my daughter but I just don't know who she is anymore. She's not the same person, like she had a mental break. I don't know. If there's anyone reading this that has gone through this and would like to share, please do so. I need to talk to someone who understands. Dee

Posted by: DianaG at 01/08/2009 11:36 AM

BE WARNED! We have two foster/adopt girls, ages 8 and 11 which we have had in our home for 5 years. We love them very much. We formally adopted them 2 1/2 years ago. 4 months ago the older girl made an accusation against my husband re inappropriate sexual touching. It is a false accusation. She made similar accusations against other foster children while she was in foster care. The accusation was made in response to her being confronted about her touching a 4 year old boy sexually (not in our household). We know from behaviors when they were first in foster care that they had been abused sexually in their birth home prior to being picked up by CPS. We have documents regarding this and regarding this girl's tendency to lie. The original adoption was in California and we now live in Texas. The accusation was reported to the local CPS. My husband periodically suffers from depression and also was diagnosed shortly after the adoption, with Parkinson’s disease. When he heard about the accusation he was already having a depressive episode. He completely panicked knowing what just an accusation can do to a family and almost immediately took a massive overdose of his prescription meds. He was in a coma for 3 days and in the hospital for 2 weeks. CPS has interviewed the girl and she told them that he had touched her but she didn't want to talk about it. The doctors in the hospital have told the police investigator things about what he may or may not have said while he was under their care in the hospital. This while he was completely out of it from the overdose he took. What I heard him say on several occasions was “my daughter says I touched her.” CPS has now turned it over to the District Attorney’s office. My husband was arrested and released on bond. We had to hire an attorney. My husband was staying at a friend’s so the girls could stay home, but CPS decided that since I didn’t believe my husband did it, the girls should be moved. So I sent them to stay with family out of state which was fine with CPS. Now we wait for the legal process to grind on. We have grown married birth children (including daughters) who cannot believe this is happening. They have written letters in support of their dad. We were foster parents for over 20 years and have a spotless record and never one complaint or incident on our record. My husband in 58 yrs old! And now this! We did everything right, all the documents, etc. But at least in Texas it is “hang ‘em high” and “guilty until proven innocent”. How do you PROVE a negative? How do you prove he didn’t do it? The daughter now says she thinks she may have dreamt it. Of course CPS and the court don’t care/ don’t believe that. We have heard of former foster children putting a wrong face on an incident from when they were too little to really remember. Is this what happened or was she just trying to get out of trouble? Our lives are a shamble and who knows what will happen in court with the current attitude of the public (“children never lie about these things”).

Posted by: mariangelw at 09/27/2007 03:35 PM

Hi,
I hope I dont offend anyone, I am a former foster child, who has been on both sides. By this I mean I I made an alligation that was ture yet ignored, then was accused of making false alligation. A few years later that same foster parent got his 16 yr old adopted daughter pregnant. I have grown up and been told so many times that I need to forget the past, that is very hard to do. I am 37 and mother of 3. For many years I have felt as if I was going to go crazy, I tend to be distant, I dont trust anyone and feel like I am worthless. I am not saying that is due to any oe foster home, what I hope to get across is many of us former foster kids got moved around so many times after being taken away from sometime loving birth parents that could not get us back from CP$/DHS/DSS or whatever they call themselves in your state. In my case my mother did not know of the sexual abuse we never told her, yet DSS took us away from my mother and brothe 2 days after the abuser was arrested, 2 of our aunts tried to take us yet DSS placed us in a foster home cut us off from everyone and everything we ever knew, then we were moved 5 times over the next 8 months, then in the 10th month we were placed with our legal father that we had never meet. still not being allowed to see anyone other then our mother and brother 1 hour every 2 weeks that was after the first 30 days.
I should say that we/our means my twinn sister and I. I ended up turning to drugs and booze at the age of 11, this was also after being placed on ritalin for ADHD. By the time my mother got us back at age 11 1/2 yr old, I had already became out of control, I was told If I didnt like what my mom said or did I could call the worker and she would come and get me, Like I would have wanted to go back to foster care.........not. by time I was 13 my mom had to report m as run away to many times to count, I had been skipping school and doing as i pleased, smoking, drinking, and doing drugs. That was my way to get away from the pain, feeling rejected by everyone, For along time I hated my mom for not coming and getting me, for not coming and seeing me, for cancealed visits,missed birthdays, no phone calls. Not knowing she had fought hard, did all the pysc evaluations, classes, and jumping thru all the hoops. At age 13 and a few months my mother at age 37 had a heart attack, I ran away the night before, got picked up for accessory to grand larcany, and then placed in Juvinile home. At that point when my mother could get no help because she didnt want to put us back in foster care, she got worse, she couldnt take care of her self because of her heart attack so once again DSS stepped in placing us back into foster care, my legal father had signed off his parental rights because he couldnt handle the headaches of dealing with DSS or 2 out of control girls. DSS then gave my mom a choise TPR or fight again to get us back. My moms health would allow her to fight again. For the next 4 1/2 yrs I was in 6 different foster homes, 4 respite foster homes,seperated from my twinn sister, made to goto phyc twice a week, that didnt help as I was told if I would just admit my mom abused,neglected me I could get better. My mother wasnt the abuser, the only thing she was guilty of was not knowing. DSS and the molester were the abusers, DSS was the one who neglected us. Being placed in serveral homes over a 10 yr perod tends to affect anyone, and then it makes it worse for next placement, I wrote a poem a few yrs ago stating how I felt and still do, I would love to post here not sure if that is allowed. I really hope this helps others understand why alot of false alligations get made, when you are taught you dont have to listen or do what your told , when your young most children dont know the differance as they get older. It is a tool they can control, which is about the only thing foster kids have any control over. If both DSS and foster parents can try to understand what foster care dose to a child, the emotional neglect and abuse, then maybe some of the anger, hostilaty, and feeling worthless can stop for foster kids. I am sorry if I offend someone, I just needed to share the trama foster care did to my life and hope it helps another child not suffer the same.
Shelli

Posted by: Shelli at 04/25/2007 10:47 PM