» classic comebacks to annoying things people say about adoption

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Classic Comebacks to Annoying Things People Say About Adoption

AnomiaBogus: "The most annoying thing for me happens within the adoption community itself! I hate it when I say that my search went on for 15 years, and that even though I was once given a name and DOB for my birth mother, I was unable to locate my her. Someone is sure to say, 'Oh, well, just give ME your information and *I*'ll find her for you!' as if I'm incompetent after 15 years of experience! Then, when I tell them that the name is an alias, they try to tell me I just need to check variations of the spelling! If it was so simple, don't they think I'd've tried it by now?

Related to that is when I tell someone my birth mother refused to allow the release of information after being contacted by the agency and they either tell me I should've let THEM do the search or that I should just 'hang in there and maybe she'll change her mind!' She's had 50 years to deal with it. I don't think she's gonna change her mind!

Excuse the 'sermon' but some of us aren't looking to be FIXED as much as we are to be HEARD."

LisaJoy: "I love my professor but I recently received an e-mail from her that said, 'I believe your birthmother must have loved you a great deal because she didn't have an abortion.' I'm still at a loss as to how to respond to this...she's adopted a child herself and I sure hope she never says that to her child. Proves you can give a person a PhD but they can still be clueless!"

M. Berk, Birthmother and Adoptee: "Comments from other high school teachers when talking about being an adoptee and birthmother:

English Teacher: 'Well, you know birthmothers don't want to be found.'

Classic Comeback: No thats just an URBAN MYTH. We do want to be found.'

And, 'I just can't understand why my friend's daughter wants to [search]. They have raised her just like their own.'

Classic Comeback: She IS their own.'

and later in the conversation...

Algebra Teacher: 'What?? You mean they let people who give away their kids adopt other kids later? Who would be that stupid?' (This was in reference to the fact that my birthmother adopted a child 10 years after placing me for adoption.)