Reactive Attachment Disorder

"CHAT TRANSCRIPT: RAD" > Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Chat Transcript: continued

poppyflr
except he sits on a stool in the corner, with a straight back....

KAYDOC
I have used some of it for about 2 years

SusanMW
You're ahead of me. I've done parts of it since Hannah came home over 2 years ago, but just started full-fledged about 3 months ago.

Johnsmom
oh really, have any of you that have used it been able to get in the 12 hugs a day?!!!! we come close but man thats a lot to fit in.

JodyHOST
Are you seeing positive results?

KAYDOC
its hard to maintain the pizazz level

poppyflr
12 hugs a day?

Johnsmom
yes it is Kay, and I fail at that too but I try

SusanMW
I'm seeing great results...but we're not there yet.

KAYDOC
I have had 2 children with major changes

Johnsmom
yes poppy Nancy says it takes 8 hugs to maintain a positive bond and 12 to create one.

JodyHOST
what a sweet concept

poppyflr
what if I don't feel like giving 12 hugs? This kid makes me SO angry....

SusanMW
I'm lucky in that Hannah is very affectionate with me (except of course when she's hitting or kicking me!)

Johnsmom
yes it is also part of the control thing, we - the parents - have to regain control so that they child will feel safe and be able to trust.

KimHOST
What are some of the other techniques that Nancy suggests? I am learning so much while listening to you all.

KAYDOC
scheduled hugs can also help build the bond for you towards the child....... this helps too

JodyHOST
What's the name of the book for those who aren't familiar with it?

poppyflr
The unique problem I have is that these kids might go back to my sister, their mother....what about our bonding when that happens?

KAYDOC
Holding Time, by Martha Welch

Johnsmom
well Poppy thats where you have to remember that this child is not out to make your life miserable, he is a hurting child, with a sick heart and this is to mend that heart to create the bond that was never established.

SusanMW
Take control away from the kids i.e. Hannah has been manipulating me by asking for food at all times of day. I've taken control away by telling her she can eat fruits and veggies anytime except right before meals.

Johnsmom
When Love Is Not Enough, by Nancy Thomas

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