Becoming a Family
Talking to ConnorPete and I had decided to be open with Connor from thebeginning about his adoption, so from the time he was 8 months old, I started telling him the story of how we became a family. I knew that he didn't understand then, but eventually as he got older he would.
Whenever Annie would visit, I would tell Connor that she was coming to see him. I would tell him that she was his birthmother, that he had grown in her tummy, but because she was too young to take care of him, she had placed him with mommy and daddy to be his parents. And that we all loved him very much.
Connor is now 3 years old, and seems to understand pretty well about his adoption and his relationship with Annie. Annie is now the mother of two little boys, and though it hasn't been easy, she is doing fine.
We have had our emotional ups and downs, but we are honest with each other. We always work it out. At first, I had hoped that Annie's pain would eventually go away, but now I know that part of her will always hurt over placing Connor for adoption. And I am sure that her heart aches whenever she hears Connorcall me mommy. For me the hard part has been dealing with other people's reaction to adoption. Many people act strangely when I mention that my son was adopted, as though I shouldn't be talking about it, or as though I can never know what it is really like to be a mom because I didn't give birth to my child. And there are those who think it is wonderful that I was able to adopt my son, but act horrified when I tell them that hisbirthmother has contact with him. They see her as a threat, as though she will come to take him back; or they tell me that Connor is going to grow up very confused because of his contact with her.
Though it has taken me a while, I finally realize that what other people think does not matter. Although the road has and will continue to get bumpy from time to time, it is the onethat my husband and I have chosen to take. And wherever it leads us, we will travel it together as a family.
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