Around the World in 180 Days
20-Jul-2001MaineMaine was an interesting excursion for me. I arrived there the beginning of spring, with the snow melted and the 'green' starting to pop its head out to take a peek at the sunshine. Fields of dandelions bathed the countryside. Every yard had a crop of them, they were beautiful. What a pretty part of the USA, flying in over the water and forest drew me in to the area. I took bike rides in the forest and enjoyed the sunshine. The locals donned their t-shirts and shorts, however I had to, at all times, have a long-sleeved t-shirt on; after all I am a Tropical baby.
My contacts in the Bangor area came from my birthmom club "Sunflowers", my friend in Old Town and of course the people that came me to me by coincidence, these people I call "my little miracles along the way".
Caring for my friend, who was ill, was an experience for me also. I was so grateful to be able to do this for someone who was in need. Life gave me the opportunity to give a little back, as during this trip I have had so much love and kindness shown to me, I figured that I had some paying back to do. One of my favourite sayings in this world is "Love in your Heart was not put there to stay, Love is not love till you give it away," it is a never ending circle just comes in and goes out. :o)
When my friend began to get a little better I made contacts in the area. A family in Old Town a few streets from where I stayed, had adopted a baby girl from India 18 years ago. I had lacked this type of story in my collection. On my way home from a local restaurant a taxi driver began to tell me of his children he had never seen; he was a birthfather. He had not tried to find them as he gathered his children would not be interested to know him, he felt that he had not amounted to anything in his life and had nothing to offer them. I smiled at him and assured him that most children trying to find their birthparents were not looking for monetary gain from contact, but merely to find their heritage to reconnect. I told him of some of the stories I had heard from adoptees on the net and my own personal contacts, these stories put a smile on his tired face. I left him thinking to myself what a wonder the "webs of life" are, to have put me in this particular place and time.
I had a wonderful time with the two birthmothers I met. Mary, who came back to the area for Memorial weekend, and Connie who lived a short distance from Old Town. We chatted so freely and with great understanding of each other.
Riding the bus from Old Town to Bangor to go shopping one warm spring day, an elderly lady, Elaine, heard my accent and began talking to me, pretty soon the whole bus got in on the conversation, my 45 min bus trip was a hoot. Elaine had been placed in an Orphanage at the age of two, had never been adopted and had suffered a great deal at the hands of her carers all her institutionalised life, as she told me her story her face would contort with anger and pain as she spoke of her abusers. Her words, "I have all my life yearned to hear those three words 'I Love you'" still ring in my ears as I think of her.
The day began when I called to see her for an interview, I had forgotten the battery to my camera, not wanting to postpone the trip I decided to take her back to my friends Music studio to do the interview. The first treat was the Taxi ride; she always rides the public buses. The members of her church chipped in to buy her two new outfits for her interview, when she came out from dressing she looked just beautiful, the pearls, the perfume, the new dress the make up, she was so excited.
Arriving at the studio, my friend greeted her with a smile and a handshake and escorted her into the music room, chatted to her whilst I set up my camera and then left us to the interview. When we had finished some two hours later she was very pleased with herself and so happy. My friend offered to play a couple of pieces for her on the Tenor Sax, a special concert just for her. Her euphoria was evident; we were lifting her very soul, just by showing her some kindness. I then took her to the Local restaurant on the river, where we had a triple layered chocolate cake and coffee and talked and talked. I called a taxi and asked him to drop her back to her residence in Bangor, paid him and told him that he had a VIP with him so he was to treat her well. We hugged with a warmth that touched my very soul, she was so happy I will never forget the smile on her face as she drove off waving furiously. Why was it she had come to me? This was not an adoption story, but was more a 'lack of adoption story'. I wonder with all the talk of "ban adoption at all cost", if this was showing me the alternative for some or was it to give a woman who had never felt special or loved, a day of caring. I do know she took that 15 mins of fame they say we all get once in our life. Elaine was only 55 but looked 70.
The next day I met and interviewed the couple that had adopted the little Indian baby 18 years ago. "S" was a delightful young woman, so free and open to tell me of her struggles during her 18 years. The struggles and pains and angers that arose from having different coloured skin to her Mum and Dad and for that matter, from all her classmates. Her Mum wrote and published a little Book for her called "A Home for Seta". "S" took this little book, describing her adoption, to school for the teachers to read to the class at the beginning of each year, and this to help her fit in, and helped the children to understand. I read the little book, written in a child's story format."S" was a well-adjusted and wise young woman, so obviously loved by her Mum and Dad. I could not help but think that "S" had in life all that Elaine had not.
My love and hugs to you all,
Wendy
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