Around the World in 180 Days
21-Apr-2001 Sarasota, Florida
Early Wednesday morning I travelled with my friend to the bus station to catch a bus to Sarasota. I looked over at her and felt sad to be leaving this wonderful human being I had known face to face for only a few days... yet it seems that I have known her a lifetime. I remember a teacher of mine in High School giving our class a pep talk as we were leaving this part of our education, the one thing I remember her saying is, "You will, throughout your life, be able to count your true friends on one hand." At the time I thought Oh yeah!!! I can count them on both hands... But as life has progressed I have understood what she meant by "true friends" and she was right. Meeting and spending time with Di, I feel she may well be one of those True Friends.
The bus was not my preferred mode of travel, however if I took the rail it would have taken me many more hours to get there. As it was, it took six hours instead of three. Transport is hubbed here in the States, even air travel; this is a new experience for me.
Observing the towns as I passed through, I noticed the bus stations seem to be on the outskirts of town, some did not seem safe. The closer we were to the coast, the bigger and more elaborate the buildings and homes were... and the more pride taken in the appearance of the city.
I met a sweet, elderly lady on the bus, and had lunch with her. She was 75 and was delighted to chat with an Aussie. The affect she had on me was not known to her - and I guess it never will be. We chatted about her life and mine, eventually getting to the purpose of my travel. I told her my adoption story and what is driving me to do what I am doing. Words like
birthmother birthdaughter, reunited, popped into the conversation, as they are apt to do when I am talking about adoption. I could see in her eyes a little touch of the judgment society perfected back in the 70s. I was OK with this as it strengthened me. My thoughts go back to the time when this look would have crushed me. This little lady strengthened me, drove home to me the realisation that every little thing done to get adoption stories and adoption news out there to the public, will bring them closer to a non-judgmental view of the path of the Birthparents/Adoptees/Adoptive Parent, be it a newspaper article, a book, a website, a chat room, a documentary, radio, a march, a conversation. Anything that may make it easier for those associated with adoption to speak about their experiences, to find their roots, to have what is rightfully theirs, to be given the rights they deserve as members of the human race.
In Sarasota, I visited with Linda Hammer, "The Seeker". She and her sister picked me up from the bus station with warm smiles and welcoming chatter. When they saw the "Big Blue Bag" I carry, there was disbelief in their eyes... we struggled to fit it in the trunk of the car, the onlookers must have been amused. Staying with this little family was a real treat for me. Linda taught me to play the card game "Spit"; I have to tell you we were well matched. When I told my family I had been taught how to play "Spit" they were shocked and said "What ARE the Americans teaching you!!!!! We won't know you when you come home" hehehehe I did eventually tell them it was a card game. :o)
I have enjoyed listening to and observing Linda, the work she does is invaluable and it comes from her ever-expanding heart. She herself, is not part of the adoption triangle, however, the work she does brings her into the hearts of those she reunites and informs. What a quality person she is. Filming her during her radio show, I marveled at the ease with which she flowed out to her listeners. I watched as she fought back the tears as a Holocaust survivor told the story of her survival, I realised that this is not just a job for Linda, this work represents her soul.
Looking at me from her computer chair she said, "Wendy, my dog has more papers and the right to them, than adoptees," and I thought, "There is something wrong with that picture... Animals have a better paper trail then a human being.. hmmmmmm." I have watched her as her heart is touched by the story of the Vietnamese babies taken from Vietnam in the 60s, as she tells me of the baby dumping and the laws sanctioning designated dumping areas. She is a reformer just like our Sass, they remind me so much of each other, they are driven by a passion to see the right thing done, for the humane thing to win out over the inhumane. I am indeed lucky to be with people like this as, who they are and what they give out, melds with who I am and changes me once again.
My love and hugs to you all,
Wendy
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