» issues in adoption & foster care » adoption language » a few words on words in adoption - Page: 1, 2, 3, 4

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A Few Words on Words in Adoption, Page 4

1. Do you or others use the word with a silent, but intended, "only" in front of it? (As in "She is (only) his birthmother." Or "They are (only) his adoptive family.")
2. Does your language honor the connections that exist? (For example, calling an expectant mother, or an adoptive mother, "mom.") Or do you use qualifying language inappropriately to diminish those connections? (As in "She's not one of their own, she's adopted.")
3. Does your language reflect the reality of the situation, both legally and practically? For example, Pat Johnston, using RAL, refers to the term "reunion" this way: "While children adopted at an older age may indeed experience a reunion, most adoptees join their families as infants, and as such they have no common store of memories or experience such as are traditionally shared in a reunion." Personally I find this description diminishing of the connections between an adopted person and his or her birth family. We often go to "family reunions" where the connections between people are based on extended family ties and not on a previous extended relationship.
4. Have you asked others involved how they would like to be addressed or referred to? Many adopted persons I know prefer that term (adopted person) to "adoptee." According to Dr. G. William Troxler, "The term 'adoptee' is a linguistic diminutive intended to keep adopted people servile. That is to say an adoptee is in a position of subservience just as an employee is to an employer or as a lessee is to a lessor." Others see no problem with referring to themselves as adoptees.
5. Do you continue to use language that others find offensive?

© Brenda Romanchik