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Adoption and Your Child's Teachers

with Rita Taddonio, CSW
Director of SPARK (Child Development program) at Spence-Chapin

Opening Remarks

America's understanding of adoption has changed from one of secrecy and denial to openness and understanding over the last 40 years; however most people still develop their understanding of adoption from information gleaned by the media - which often still presents sensationalized and stereotyped views of adoption.

Since our children spend a major part of their day in school and the experiences they have there impact largely on their self esteem it is important for parents to make sure teachers have an accurate understanding of adoption.

Most teachers care a great deal about their students and are happy to learn information that will assist them in educating their students. Establishing a supportive and congenial relationship with your child's teacher n the beginning of the school year will go a long way in making your child's school experience a positive one.

In sharing adoption information with your child's teacher remember that the teacher most probably has not had any training about adoption. There are virtually no courses in any area of professional education regarding adoption issues.

Here are some facts that you want to make sure your child's teacher understands:

1. Adoption is one of the many ways a family is formed. A family formed through adoption is a real family whose members' commitment to each other is lifelong.
2. Language is an extremely important element in conveying attitudes about something. Give your child's teacher a list of positive adoption language (e.g. birth parent as opposed to 'real' parent; make an adoption plan as opposed to give away.)
3. Encourage the teacher to take opportunities in the general curriculum to provide accurate information about adoption. Keep in mind that the topic of adoption doesn't have to be a special lesson - it can be part of lessons about families, literature, and even mathematics.
4. Help your child's teacher be aware of lessons that might be difficult for children who were adopted (as well as for children whose parents are stepparents or single or grandparents or gay). Lessons involving family trees, genetics, Mother's/Father's day or geography for instance need to be presented creatively and sensitively.
5. It is important to let your child's teacher know that you do expect them to be prepared to assist children if they are asked intrusive questions or to handle negative comments/teasing if it comes to their attention. It is always helpful to provide teachers with some written material regarding these suggestions.

© 2003, Rita Taddonio, CSW

To find materials, see Adoption Awareness for Teachers.

Now let's open it up for questions.

• Page 1: Opening Remarks
• Page 2: Don't Want to Make an Issue
• Page 3: Parent Presentations
• Page 4: Child Doesn't Want Teacher to Know
• Page 5: Blame and Bullying

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