Adoption and Your Child's Teachers

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with Rita Taddonio, CSW
Director of SPARK (ChildDevelopment program) at Spence-Chapin

Question: My son has many special needs and acts out with major behaviors. I do not want teachers saying that his behaviors are due to being adopted or his past. Also, how do you handle it when a child that is adopted acts out (has behaviors) for whatever reason and the teachers (or others) make negative comments or say it's because they are adopted, or negative things about their birthfamily?
Rita: I think it's time for a major sit down with the teachers if they are hanging his behaviors on adoption. Kids have major behaviors because of sensory issues or frustration with learning disabilities, etc., NOT because of adoption.
Comment: I have found this to be common though... child acts up, teacher says something negative about birthmom or something similar.
Rita: They need retraining and re-education. There are curricula and books out there. I would suggest for the school to have an inhouse training. I go in to schools all the time for staff training.
Comment: I did try on numerous occasions last year to deal with this to no avail.
Comment: I've known parents who change their child's class because of teacher attitudes like that.
Rita: Absolutely, because teachers get their info about adoption from the media, which is often sensationalistic, and they often operate out of myths and stereotypes, especially if they are not open or exposed to different families. But if your child's behavior is being labelled as adoption issues, it is a problem because it is not addressing his real issues and therefore not helping him. Unfortunately schools can be tough fortresses to crack.

Question: Have you known of cases where the child is bullied in class because of being foreign adopted? And how can the teacher handle it?
Rita: Yes, teasing and bullying is often a problem. Most kids in transracial families say this happens to them. I would suggest you speak to the teacher and let him or her know that you expect him/her to intervene if that happens, and make it clear that mean teasing and bullying are absolutely not tolerated in the school. Honest questions can be answered, but if there is racial teasing then teachers need to start doing some curriculum work around tolerance and diversity. CASE in Maryland has a good curriculum and so does www.dontlaugh.org, and the Child Welfare League of America.

Thanks to all who participated!

If you would like to reach Rita Taddonio by email, you can contact her by email .

• Page 1: Opening Remarks
• Page 2: Don't Want to Make an Issue
• Page 3: Parent Presentations
• Page 4: Child Doesn't Want Teacher to Know
• Page 5: Blame and Bullying