Adoption and Your Child's Teachers
with Rita Taddonio, CSW
Director of SPARK (ChildDevelopment program) at Spence-Chapin
Question: What are your views about going in as a parent teacher and having a special talk with the young kids about how families are made up in different ways and explain some things about adoption? And bring candy of course.
Rita: I think that if you and your child are comfortable with that, go for it. If kids are young they usually love the idea. Just make sure your child is part of the plan.
Question: So she could hold the pictures, help prepare, and take part? Hand out the candy right?
Rita: Exactly. She can pick out the pictures she thinks you should use, and maybe bring in something that is special to her about her adoption, etc.
Question: How do you handle assignments that might be tricky for adopted children, like bringing in baby pictures or birth stories?
Rita: That is why I always suggest establishing a working relationship with the teacher early, before assignments like that come up so he or she will present them sensitively. For instance, the baby picture thing... what is the goal of the assignment? If it's to learn about how we grow, you can just ask them to bring in the youngest photo of themselves. Lots of kids don't have baby pictures. Instead, some teachers bring in cameras and take photos of the kids in the class at the time.
Question: If the child would like, do you think it is appropriate for her to bring in her lifebook that we made for her to share?
Rita: Absolutely - as long as your child wants to do that. Just remember: your child will be more interested in talking about herself than the others will be in listening about her. Kids have a short attention span and are egocentric. It would be nice if there were a class project for all the kids to make a lifebook and then display them and share parts of them during the year. That also avoids the concern about singling out adoption as an issue.
•Page 1: Opening Remarks
•Page 2: Don't Want to Make an Issue
•Page 3: Parent Presentations
•Page 4: Child Doesn't Want Teacher to Know
•Page 5: Blame and Bullying
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