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Is It Toddlerhood or Adoption?

with Rita Taddonio, CSW
Director of SPARK (Child Development program) at Spence-Chapin

Angela: My daughter's problem was not verbal. She could talk very well. She did not have a clue what she was saying. Or what I was saying.
SBD: Early Intervention will only help if your child is 30% behind. My daughter came home with noticeable language delays, and I could not get help for her until she was 2. And that was only because I persisted even though everyone was telling me she did not need help.
Cynth: I agree. You often have to push to get the services you feel you need.
Rita: Actually, the ease with which one can get EI services unfortunately depends on where you live - but the standard is 33% delay in one area or 25% delay in two or more areas. However, if your child is only 22% delayed, we would want services, so you have to persist and start advocating.

Angela: My daughter was 3.5 years old and did not qualify for EI. And the school district refused to test her. They were afraid of unfairly labeling her. Their refusal was so illegal. I found a local university that would screen her language.
Rita: Good job - did you get services?
Angela: Not via public school district. I paid out of my pocket for language therapy... 5 months' worth. My insurance refused to pay for language therapy unless my daughter had a stroke. And the school district refused 3 separate times to test her.
Rita: School district refused? Did you go to a fair hearing?
Angela: No, Rita. I did not have a clue what my rights were or how to pursue it.
Rita: You can still do this. You are entitled and a case can be made, especially for internationally adopted children.

Angela: Rita, my biggest problem was family. I just could not figure out how to deal with it. One family member implied that my daughter was going to be a murderer after watching her in an over-the-top meltdown. I got mad and did not talk to that family member. Any ideas for the future? I am strongly thinking of adopting again. And I will have to deal with this again.
Rita: Family always has something to say unfortunately, but sometimes if you share info you get in all the preadopt sessions, it helps them understand where our kids are coming from. But you need to be clear that you are the parent and you're making the rules.

• Page 1: Opening Remarks
• Page 2: What's "Normal"?
• Page 3: Hitting When Frustrated
• Page 4: Early Intervention
• Page 5: Language Skills

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