Then She Found Me

by Elinor Lipman

I have to admit that I had no idea who Elinor Lipman was before I read "Then She Found Me." I was browsing through an airport bookstore, looking for something to read to fill the time, and saw the title. I didn't think it could possibly be about adoption and reunion, but it was. It is... and it's a novel.

Not only is it a novel, but it was written in 1990, and since 1999, rumors have been floating around that Helen Hunt was captivated by the book and determined to make a film based on it. According to the Internet Movie Database (IMDb), the film is now in pre-production and will star Hunt, Diane Keaton, and Woody Harrelson.

"Then She Found Me" is an unexpectedly funny and endearing look at a birthmother-daughter reconnection. April is a very low-key Latin teacher who has lived a very low-profile life, avoiding involvements and romance. Bernice is at the opposite pole - a sharp-edged name-dropping grating talk show host who's always on stage, always cued to go. In first conversations, they barely appear to be speaking the same language, trying to identify each other within the context of their separate lives, with comfortable labels. Of course it doesn't work, but despite the friction, they keep coming back for more.

At some point, midway through the book, I asked myself why I was coming back for more. I could barely tear myself away from the account of their daily or weekly clashes that appeared to be prolonging the misery - it was something akin to voyeurism. I had to admit I was totally hooked.

Replete with catch phrases of the day (remember, this was first published in 1990) like "real" mother, and set as a meeting after the deaths of the adoptive parents (no struggles there), the book is a reflection of its time in terms of language. But as a story of reunion and relationships, it's just as fresh and funny and irreverent today as it was in the 90s. It's a book about mothers and daughters... and just because April and Bernice haven't lived the shared history of the relationship doesn't mean theirs is any more or less dysfunctional than many mother-daughter relationships in families unconnected to adoption.

April Epner, the adoptee. Bernice Graverman, the birthmother. At times jaw-clenchingly aggravating, at times enthusiastically clichéd, and always memorable.

Elinor Lipman, I'm sorry I didn't know your work before now.

Buy "Then She Found Me" here.

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