Adoption Dissolution

My heart goes out to you and your family and can empathize with your situation. Although my understanding does not come from an adoption issue but from the trials and tribulations my family had to endure from my biological sister. I am 52 years old now but remember everything that happened like it was yesterday. My sister was verbally and physically violent to everyone in our family. She abused me everyday and literally tried to kill me several times. When she would have a fit which was almost daily she would have the strength of 10 men. My parents did the best that they could, trying everything from psychiatric help, boarding school, juvenile homes, etc. Of course the psychiatrists blamed my parents, but my sister, with an IQ of 160 could fool anyone. In the outside world she looked and acted like an angel, so absolutely no one really saw the reality of the situation. You are not failures and never believe that for any moment. Do what is best for your other children because your daughter is scarring them for life. I know from personal experience. Look at it this way, I have another sister and despite our families turmoil we both turned out to be productive, responsible , adults however we do have emotional and physical scars from my sister's abuse. I have been recently been diabnosed as being bi-polar, and my doctors have told me this is due to a direct result of my abuse from childhood.I know you love your child, but that doennt mean you like her. My parents raised my nephew from the age of 10 because of the abuse my sister inflicted on him. If you ever need someone to talk to or vent feel free to contact me. Just reply and I will send you my e-mail. Whatever you do never blame yourself, sometimes thingsare out of our control.
Respectfully,
Cindy

Posted by: CindyAnn57 at 07/29/2009 01:29 AM

He already had a classic reactive attachment disorder by the time we brought him into our family, but we sure didn't know a thing about such a syndrome. We'd never heard of

Posted by: batateamta at 06/03/2009 07:12 PM

He already had a classic reactive attachment disorder by the time we brought him into our family, but we sure didn't know a thing about such a syndrome. We'd never heard of it, and nobody at DCFS bothered to mention it to us (of course). We thought the reason he cried constantly and fought taking a bottle was because we were [URL=http://www.nyasianblue.com]new york asian escort[/URL] doing something wrong, although all of our friends and family assured us that we weren't. It wasn't until the day of adoption 3 years late, AFTER we had signed all the adoption papers, that we [URL=http://www.nyasianblue.com]new york asian escorts[/URL] then read that the baby's birth mother [URL=http://www.nyasianblue.com]new york escort[/URL] had used crack and alcohol during pregnancy, that his birth father had RAPED the 4 year old sister repeatedly while the mother did nothing, and that it's possible our baby was physically abused by the birth father. By the way, the birth father has been in and out of [URL=http://www.nyasianblue.com]new york escorts[/URL] prison 6 times and recently died in jail when he swallowed a bag of cocaine he was smuggling, and it burst in his throat.

Posted by: batateamta at 06/03/2009 07:12 PM

this site has been a god send to me. We adopted a sibling group of five out of the foster care system almost two years ago. The oldest of the group was wonderful during the honeymoon stage, but is becoming increasingly difficult. He has been diagnosed with Rad, depression, Oppositional difiance, and post traumatic stress disorder. We are trying so hard to do everything we can to help him feel loved and a part of our family, but he sabotages every effort we make and tries to make sure the younger siblings do not bond to us as well. So far he is not physically abusive it is more of a mental and emotional battle, but he is only 11 too. Like so many others the story we were told was not the entire story of the child and now the adoption is final we get the real story or the rest of it piece by piece

Posted by: mahanna at 02/15/2009 09:41 PM

I'm so happy I have found this forum.
What do we do when we realize we can no longer give the care that is needed to our adopted daughter? We have had our daughter since she was 4 and she is now 11. During this time we have tried everything we can think of to help her. So what do we do now? People say we are giving up on her but we are not. What we are doing is hoping someone else can give her what she needs.
There is so much tension in our house when she is home. She is a ticking time bomb. I have never seen so much hate in a little child. We never know what's going to set her off. Our two yr old begs us not to give our 11 yr old time out because the 11 yr old will hurt herself. Then the other day our two year said that our 11 yr old was going to kill her. We have heard her threaten to kill us and her older brother, but now the two year old? She could actually do it. My husband and I completely understand that this is not our adopted daughter's fault. Her behavior is a result of her early history. With that said, my husband and I can no longer provide the care she needs. We have to protect our other adopted children and ourselves. She has not hurt anybody yet. She does hurt herself on a daily bases though. Therapy and Medications have not helped. We can no longer place our family in danger. The mental and extreme verbal abuse our family goes through every day has to stop. My husband and I are starting to look into dissolving our adoption. We will be contacting her Therapist, Psychologist, original social worker and an attorney on Monday. Can someone please provide us with some guidance in this matter?

Posted by: Forourkids at 12/27/2008 12:47 PM