Step 1 - Educate yourself about adoption
The steps to adopting a waiting child are much the same as adopting any child, and mark the beginning of the lifetime commitment you will be making to a future member of your family.
| "Instead of thinking in terms of 'right' and 'wrong' or 'best' and 'worst,' think in terms of being a fact-finder, or an adoption sleuth." |
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Educating yourself about adoption means reading everything you can get your hands on, listening to all voices from the adoption community, learning the terms commonly used in adoption, your state laws, and connecting with others who have information and experiences to share.
Read. Information is available online, in bookstores, at libraries, and through local agencies, attorneys and support groups.
Attend support group meetings, workshops and conferences. Talking with those who are exploring adoption, and those who have been in your position, is an enormous benefit.
Learn about your state child welfare system. There are two types of state adoption systems, and it's important that you know how your state operates.
- State-centralized system - Policies and practices are controlled by a state Department of Social Services (DSS) or similar office, and are consistent throughout the state;
- County-centralized system - The state provides an umbrella organization, but each county has a certain amount of flexibility in setting policies and procedures, including subsidy payment options.
Qualifications. One of the advantages of adopting a waiting child is that prospective parents do not have to be wealthy, married, under 40, or own their own homes in order to adopt. Some of the qualities adoption professionals look for in those seeking to adopt are:
- a belief in adoption and the ability to commit;
- patience and perseverance;
- a talent for keeping life in perspective;
- flexibility in the face of the unexpected;
- the strength to be consistent and set limits;
- a willingness to advocate for your children's medical and educational needs, and
- a resolution of issues that may have led you to the choice of adoption.
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