A Voice for Teen Adoptees - page 3

Part 3: Jenny's Mission

More of this Feature • Part 1: Meet Jenny • Part 2: The Interview     Related Resources • Books for Teens • Open Adoption • Youth Sites on the Web    Elsewhere on the Web • Open Adoption Outcomes

Q:  What do you see as three pluses in adoption?

A:  I think that the adoptive family benefit more than anyone in adoption... they get the child they want so badly. That's definitely a plus!!

If they handle it the right way, there can be two more pluses added... the adoptee, and the birthfamily. If no pressure is put on the adoptee, they become a plus, because they are likely in a better situation than they would have been had they not been adopted. And if the birthfamily is accepted and welcomed with open arms, they too become a plus.

Most adoptive families don't realise how much they'll really benefit by befriending the birthmother of their child. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that adoption doesn't have that many pluses to start out with... it's up to the adoptive family to make an adoption a success.

Q:  Tell us about your mission.

A:  I have a mission to write a book for adoptive families. It would be compiled of stories written by adoptees, where they tell the story of their adoption and tell how their adoptive parents handled things. They would tell what they think was done right, and what was done wrong.

I also want to add a small section written by birthmothers, where they tell what their feelings are towards the adoptive family... if the adoptive family can just see how much the birthparents really love them and appreciate what they've done by caring for their child, it's my hope that they wouldn't feel so threatened by the birthmom.

'Normal' parenting is tough enough. Adoptive parenting is even harder. I think most of that is because of lack of understanding. If adoptive parentscan see into the mind of adoptees, and understand what would hurt and what would help their child, I think that it would improve the quality of life for adoptees!!

To end off, I'd like to add a quote I read about adoption. I'm afraid I don't know where it originated, but here it is:

"If a mother can love more than one child,
why is it so impossible
for achild
to love more than one mother?"

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[Note: Jenny's Web site is currently not online.]

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